Pets see everything

[greenlake]

A foul mouthed bird. Maybe I'll get one, we'd be great company.

[northernladuk]

A foul mouthed bird. Maybe I'll get one, we'd be great company.

I've got one of them you can borrow for a short time at the right price... but I believe you know that already.

[northernladuk]

The snag with parrots is that they tend to bond with one person to the exclusion of all others, or so I've heard.

So if you're not living alone then chances are they will fall in love with your OH, or presumably whoever is around them the most or feeds them, but screech with hatred at anyone else and try and take a chunk out of them each time they venture within pecking range!

Yup. This is the only reason I didn't get one. A friend has an African grey and it bonded to him and hates his wife and the kids. Proper nips at them when they try clean the cage and the like even though they tried to give it equal attention when it was young. It lies on it's back and lets him rub its tummy and everything. Anything else that moves it'll screech and attack.

Shame, they look terrific fun if you put the time and effort in to keep them entertained.

[northernladuk]

They most certainly do. Happened to me...

A couple of years ago I was browsing in a pet shop and saw a parrot sitting on a little perch but it didn't have any feet or legs. I happened to say "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," I replied. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" I ask, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my penis around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," I said. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the £2000 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for £20; just make the owner an offer!"

I offered £20 and walked out with the parrot.

Weeks went by. The parrot was sensational. He had a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. I was delighted.

One day I came home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," ! and motioned me over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" I asked

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."

"WHAT???" I asked incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

! "NO!" I exclaimed. "And she let him?"

"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."

I was frantic at this point, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

[OwlHoot]

The snag with parrots is that they tend to bond with one person to the exclusion of all others, or so I've heard.

So if you're not living alone then chances are they will fall in love with your OH, or presumably whoever is around them the most or feeds them, but screech with hatred at anyone else and try and take a chunk out of them each time they venture within pecking range!

[BrilloPad]

If mrs bp killed me and the cats saw it, they would eat the evidence.

[BlasterBates]

Dancing cockatoo complete with Elvis hair style.

[SueEllen]

I love these vignettes of SueEllen's life, even if she does use the third person.

I know some interesting people with interesting pets.

Though none have spiders or geese.

[WTFH]

Pets see everything

They live a long time, show signs of mental illness if not given enough entertainment/company ... and need larger cages than people realise.

But they do like a dance.

I love these vignettes of SueEllen's life, even if she does use the third person.

[SueEllen]

A foul mouthed bird. Maybe I'll get one, we'd be great company.

They live a long time, show signs of mental illness if not given enough entertainment/company by doing things like plucking out their tail feathers and need larger cages than people realise.

But they do like a dance -

[xoggoth]

A foul mouthed bird. Maybe I'll get one, we'd be great company.

[SueEllen]

If you plan to kill or injure someone make sure your pet isn't around

linky

A woman has been found guilty of shooting her husband five times in a Michigan murder case apparently witnessed by a parrot.

Glenna Duram shot her husband, Martin, in front of the couple's pet in 2015, before turning the gun on herself in a failed suicide attempt.

The parrot later repeated the words "Don't shoot!" in the victim's voice, according to Mr Duram's ex-wife.