Reply to: CatFlap

[vetran]

there you go found it

[OwlHoot]

You blokes make me laugh. All this innuendo and hidden meaning. It takes ages to work it out. So, for the recent migrants amongst us, here we go.

Basically you are saying a cat flap is your code word for your second property where you run your mistress out of, yeah?

And making the flap bigger means - spending more time at the coal face digging out coal ...

Ah, I spotted the flaw there. If the cat had, um, had kittens, wouldn't he be asking about making the flap smaller?

[vetran]

My neighbour used to have some rare breed chickens, she'd buy the eggs in and hatch them. Some of them look like Big Bird. My neighbour innocently googled them to show us pictures of what they will look like. So she had her computer and searched for images of Polish Buff Chicks.

[WTFH]

Make sure you ask for "young shaven pussy" to get a clear picture. With a little bit of luck the security team will have him off the computer in a few minutes.

My neighbour used to have some rare breed chickens, she'd buy the eggs in and hatch them. Some of them look like Big Bird. My neighbour innocently googled them to show us pictures of what they will look like. So she had her computer and searched for images of Polish Buff Chicks.

[vetran]

And make sure you select images only

Make sure you ask for "young shaven pussy" to get a clear picture. With a little bit of luck the security team will have him off the computer in a few minutes.

[darmstadt]

I'm not sure suggesting someone should look up pussy is necessarily a polite thing (at least in public). Perhaps googling it would be a better idea.

And make sure you select images only

[Mordac]

You blokes make me laugh. All this innuendo and hidden meaning. It takes ages to work it out. So, for the recent migrants amongst us, here we go.

Basically you are saying a cat flap is your code word for your second property where you run your mistress out of, yeah?

And making the flap bigger means - spending more time at the coal face digging out coal

Not being able to tempt the cat through the flap means she won't party today. She's busy or something.

Making the flap smaller means she's withholding treats.

Putting food out for the cat, means she needs more pocket money or cat food to continue the arrangement.

Cat food is code for colombian marching powder.

You people are the muts nuts. You really are.

Where have you migrated from, exactly? (No need for the postcode, just the name of the galaxy will do).

[WTFH]

"Pussy" has more than one meaning in that sentence - look it up

I'm not sure suggesting someone should look up pussy is necessarily a polite thing (at least in public). Perhaps googling it would be a better idea.

[AtW]

[Fronttoback]

"Pussy" has more than one meaning in that sentence - look it up

I thought you used it in the imperative.

[SueEllen]

Wow, flirting. Wasn't expecting that- I thought you hated me. It's always the same.

"Pussy" has more than one meaning in that sentence - look it up

[Fronttoback]

We use the word "pussy" or "pussy cat".

You pussy.

Wow, flirting. Wasn't expecting that- I thought you hated me. It's always the same.

[SueEllen]

So you are a contractor who lives in a council house?

Nice. I was wondering about that. If i come back to London, what's to stop me putting my name down for a council flat? It might take 5 years to arrive but I'll tell them I'm depressed or something.

When I get it I'll rent it out for a few years cash in hand. And later I'll take up the "right to buy" and buy it cheap- still rent it out. 5 years after than I'll sell at a good profit.

.

Wrong way round.

I beat the cr*p out of you so you are physically disabled - single able-bodied men don't get housing. Even better if your Missus and kid are disabled as well as you get more points. (Kid just needs to have a learning disability.)

You then get yourself on the waiting list for social housing.

They eventually give you somewhere though it will be in Croydon or Kent.

You buy it under Right To Buy.

You then rent it out.

[SueEllen]

You blokes make me laugh. All this innuendo and hidden meaning. It takes ages to work it out. So, for the recent migrants amongst us, here we go.

Basically you are saying a cat flap is your code word for your second property where you run your mistress out of, yeah?

And making the flap bigger means - spending more time at the coal face digging out coal

Not being able to tempt the cat through the flap means she won't party today. She's busy or something.

Making the flap smaller means she's withholding treats.

Putting food out for the cat, means she needs more pocket money or cat food to continue the arrangement.

Cat food is code for colombian marching powder.

You people are the muts nuts. You really are.

We use the word "pussy" or "pussy cat".

You pussy.

[Fronttoback]

Double glazing's a pain.

I've replaced a couple of windows in my house but stuck with the original single glazing (shh, don't tell the council) because,well, just because...

So I can whip a pane out, take it up the local glazier who cuts a section out for a couple of quid and I put it back in with some fresh putty and fit the cat flap. Sorted

So you are a contractor who lives in a council house?

Nice. I was wondering about that. If i come back to London, what's to stop me putting my name down for a council flat? It might take 5 years to arrive but I'll tell them I'm depressed or something.

When I get it I'll rent it out for a few years cash in hand. And later I'll take up the "right to buy" and buy it cheap- still rent it out. 5 years after that I'll sell at a good profit.

That's called the London waiting allowance. Everyone's at it.