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Previously on "Urgently needed leaving speech puns :)"

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  • BlasterBates
    replied
    After losing my job as a life guard I went to work as a Tailor, but sadly I didn't cut it.

    Leave a comment:


  • WTFH
    replied
    A wise man once told me that a good speech should be like a skirt.
    Long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to be interesting.


    They say that life is like a box of chocolates, and so is this place. Some fudge, some fruity, but mostly nuts.

    Leave a comment:


  • BlasterBates
    replied
    after leaving the TV repair shop I joined the navy, but I was all at sea and left soon after. My experience in the Navy got me my next job as a life guard in a swimming pool, but unfortunately I was out of my depth.

    Leave a comment:


  • pjclarke
    replied
    As PT Barnum said when his human cannonball resigned, 'it will be hard to find someone of the same calibre'.

    Leave a comment:


  • BlasterBates
    replied
    ...after I left the greengrocers due to the celery dispute, I went and worked for an optician, but we didn't see eye to eye, but then I managed to get a job for a TV and Radio repair shop, unfortunately that didn't last long as we weren't on the same wavelength....

    Leave a comment:


  • northernladuk
    replied
    This is the second time today I've stood up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand. Last time I earned 80 quid for it.

    Leave a comment:


  • LucidDementia
    replied
    Originally posted by Pogle View Post
    Well aren't you a special snowflake then

    Only when compared to the likes of you.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pogle
    replied
    Originally posted by LucidDementia View Post
    I find public thankings aren't something I choose, rather they are thrust upon me.
    Well aren't you a special snowflake then

    Leave a comment:


  • Snarf
    replied
    Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
    While I've been here I've earned <insert figure permies can only dream of>. No need for anything further as they'll probably kick you out at that point.
    Keep a timer running and tell them how much you'll be invoicing for making your goodbye speech?

    Leave a comment:


  • LucidDementia
    replied
    Originally posted by Pogle View Post

    I am adorable and get on very well with everyone I work with. I just don’t think I need to be publically 'thanked'.

    I find public thankings aren't something I choose, rather they are thrust upon me.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pogle
    replied
    Originally posted by LucidDementia View Post
    WTF. Are leaving speeches inside IR35 now?

    I'm not sure how you carry yourself but when I'm leaving somewhere people are going to miss me, and I them.
    I have often been given a bottle of Gin and a bit of a talk-up send off, to respond with "cheers, laters" followed by a run for the door wouldn't be very polite now would it?

    I feel in all working environments it is deeply important to realise they're not resources, they're human beings.

    I am adorable and get on very well with everyone I work with. I just don’t think I need to be publically 'thanked'.

    Leave a comment:


  • LucidDementia
    replied
    Originally posted by Pogle View Post
    WTF is a leaving speech?

    I shake hands, say goodbye pick up my stuff hand in my badge and go out of the door.
    I dont do cards, gifts or speeches.
    I'm a contractor FFS not a permie
    WTF. Are leaving speeches inside IR35 now?

    I'm not sure how you carry yourself but when I'm leaving somewhere people are going to miss me, and I them.
    I have often been given a bottle of Gin and a bit of a talk-up send off, to respond with "cheers, laters" followed by a run for the door wouldn't be very polite now would it?

    I feel in all working environments it is deeply important to realise they're not resources, they're human beings.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pogle
    replied
    WTF is a leaving speech?

    I shake hands, say goodbye pick up my stuff hand in my badge and go out of the door.
    I dont do cards, gifts or speeches.
    I'm a contractor FFS not a permie

    Leave a comment:


  • NotAllThere
    replied
    Not a pun but worth an airing, with apologies to A.J.Rimmer: "Over the months of this project, I've come to regard you as people I met"

    Leave a comment:


  • LucidDementia
    replied
    Originally posted by EternalOptimist View Post
    and you will all agree, most of my work is outstanding

    Gold.

    Leave a comment:

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