Reply to: Any advice from parents on here please

[Slinky]

I’m not a contractor (yet, im working on it! ) however some of what you say is kind of relatable. I’m a mother of 2 under 3.

It all depends on your finances and your priorities. Your priorities now may be different after you have a baby as you don’t know how you will feel being at home with them 24/7. I personally am not cut out to be a stay at home Mum and was itching to get back to work. Maybe that was exacerbated by the fact I had 2 of the rascals within a year though. Work is a doddle compared to that! However I have friends who love it and are not interested in going back to work for years, and they luckily have that option.

In a perfect world I’d work part time and my husbands income would be enough to support us. Alas, that isn’t the case. I am the breadwinner I have to work full time and so I’ve decided to take the bull by the horns and go for it contracting. For the flexibility and yes the money..if I got a decent contract I could have 3 months off a year and still be massively quids in (in theory, I know contracting life doesn’t always pan out as seamlessly as we want)

If the babies are ill then my husband will be the go to person. If that wasn’t an option I’d say then contracting can’t be an option. By the way, kids get sick A LOT. Especially after they start preschool/ nursery. My oldest has 50% attendance at pre school since he started he is sick every other week at the moment...And they won’t let you send them when they are ill so you seriously need backup for a lot of the first few years.

[NotAllThere]

I've known quite a few women who decided after the baby was born to not go back to work for quite a few years.

[Lance]

Hmmm not sure if it'll work to be honest staying as a contractor.

My mrs only works p/t (as a nurse) and its a logistical nightmare sometimes (and my gig is local). Just can't see it being worth the hassle....

I don't get what the difference is.
Contractor hours aren't any longer than perm. In my experience they are shorter hours with greater flexibility.

The main difference is the lack of maternity leave for a contractor. I would advise the OP to take 6 months to a year out if affordable. Or get the other half to do that, or a combination.
During that time find a child minder. And don't forget that the government allow you to find some or all of that child care using something similar to chaild-care vouchers (other threads are available with more detail).

[mmo0690]

Two contracts I had done have been local. I don't drive and local tram network has been good. So I only apply for local contracts with skills matching my profile. So it was easy going so far.

This is my first (probably likely only one) and I just don't know how to gauge things with the baby. Had watched this documentary and have to admit it is giving me a bit of chill.

YouTube

[mmo0690]

Just posting to get a like and thanks from the OP.

okay mission accomplished then.

[psychocandy]

Hmmm not sure if it'll work to be honest staying as a contractor.

My mrs only works p/t (as a nurse) and its a logistical nightmare sometimes (and my gig is local). Just can't see it being worth the hassle....

[northernladuk]

Just posting to get a like and thanks from the OP.

[mudskipper]

I think the key is that at least one of you needs to have some flexibility so that you can deal with the unexpected. That doesn't need to be you - what if your jobs were reversed - do women working in his field not have children? But it's down to what both of you want and can afford, and that's only something you can decide together.

[spongeym]

Hi, so I'll explain my life a bit... Of course, this is our life and how we want to manage our family, might not be for all but might answer a few questions you had.

I'm the contractor (IT Infrastructure), approx 7 years now my wife if a permie PM, same company for 10+ years, we have 2 kids under 9. Most of my contracts have been long term, year or longer. I've worked in London and local to home whilst my wife is normally office based at one location, has begun to travel globally over the past 3 years almost 2 weeks out of the month she is out of the country. We are both career driven and very driven people.

Kids have always been childminded, wife took close to a year off after each birth, but doesn't do the clicky Mum's groups at all, just not her. She enjoys her work too much as do I. Kids love the childminders we've used, they get out more than if they were with us and meet kids not only from their school, but others too due to the childminders meeting other childminders in the area. If they were with us we'd literally just be doing the usual drops and picks as well as taking them food shopping etc. we've always found a childminder who enjoys being a kid themselves, they really enjoy it!

In terms of balance, we've always managed well, one does the drop off, the other picks up. I don't plan on working back in London, yes I miss the cheeky beer after work, but prefer being local and home at a reasonable time. We plan meetings around one of us always being available to pickup and generally are in a position to be able to wfh when needed for school bits. I've been very lucky to have had clients that understand that people have kids and there will be the odd occasion where I either have to knock off early of take an extra hour here and there, but always make up my time to compensate.

Financially, we've been lucky and managed to move houses a couple of times and always kept the stock pile well stocked. Our money goes into a general account and that takes care of anything family related, anything left over gets saved.

[Zigenare]

When "offspring" was born we'd planned that I would have 3 months off to help the Mrs and to bond with the child.

After the 3 months I went back to contracting and my other half used up her Maternity leave before going back to work and the offspring went to Nursery.

As offspring got older(6 years old) we decided that it would be better for us if I found work more locally.

I now work 6 miles away from home and collect him from school, take him to extra curricular activities etc. That was the best move I made.

There are still times when I have to visit other sites and stay away from home the odd few days but the stability we now have really helps.

If you can find contract work on your doorstep then that may make things easier for you, you may find staying away from home during the week and all that entails to be too much to juggle.

YMMV

[MyUserName]

I responded by giving up contracting and going back to the perm world. I needed stability and a predictable working day!

[vetran]

you get one go with each kid. Give it your best shot!

Originally my wife was a stay at home mum but she got bored so became a child minder. She loves it.

Things are far less important than people so live for your kids not your comfort. Luckily I managed to nearly do both but I have fairly simple tastes.(that is why I like the mods here )

[mmo0690]

No. Since this is a serious question, moved to Business/Contracts.

For the OP. One of you take the time off to look after the kid. You won't lose out. My daughter-in-law was half way through her degree when she got pregnant. By the time she'd given birth, she wasn't too fussed about completing the degree. (But she is doing it, recognising the importance of keeping her options open).

My wife didn't work professionally until our youngest was in her teens. She's works now in a fulfilling job as, given the pressures of today's world, is glad she was there for them during the holidays and when they got home from school.

My other half works in a sector where there is only a few positions nationally. If he takes a break, it is very likely affect his career going forward.

From my side, I started contracting last year May. I have been doing okay with finding contracts. Every face to face interviews seem to lead to an offer (Is it a standard?). I am not sure that good times like this will wait longer?

Ideally, I like to see anyone balancing a new parent life with contract work, as I am trying to create financially secure future for the baby as well as providing loving childhood.

[NotAllThere]

Is this Gittinsgal again??

No. Since this is a serious question, moved to Business/Contracts.

For the OP. One of you take the time off to look after the kid. You won't lose out. My daughter-in-law was half way through her degree when she got pregnant. By the time she'd given birth, she wasn't too fussed about completing the degree. (But she is doing it, recognising the importance of keeping her options open).

My wife didn't work professionally until our youngest was in her teens. She's works now in a fulfilling job as, given the pressures of today's world, is glad she was there for them during the holidays and when they got home from school.

[vetran]

Yeah but he's our "special".

I wouldn't touch him with yours!