Reply to: How do you handle intrusive recruiter question.

[psychocandy]

I am fuming for you! As a woman with young children it infuriates me that you have to come up against this blatant discrimination. But hey that's the nature of contracting, and if i'm asked outright i'll just deny it. I started looking for my first contract this week and I've even deactivated all my social media incase they go snooping. I am not stupid enough to demand working from home or constant days off to look after sick kids. What a shame that i'm having to hide my kids like i'm ashamed. Given that i'm selling myself as a business it is in my interests to get a good reputation and be reliable.

I bet male contractors don't get asked the same question. Times are changing and in my case I am the bredwinner, my husband will be at home with the kids if they are sick or grandparents. But for some reason that idea seems inconceivable to some?

I feel for you. Honestly. Unfortunately, thats the IT industry for you....

My mrs is a district nurse. Time off at short notice is not great. Someone sitting at home may be let down. Generally, working in IT you or I having a day off does not directly affect someones health.
One of my kids was ill once. Mrs tried to get cover but no joy. Of course, I didnt want to take a day off - lot of money. So I phoned client. Got asked "so why can't your mrs take time off?". It was obvious that the implication was "kids = wifes problem not yours"

The again as NLUK said above, lots of clients have been burnt. Not just because of kids but because of distance away from home. Not everyone is as professional or switched on as you obviously are. I well remember a contractor who turned up for 2 days, then quit and said "not driving this far every day". Did the site move 100 miles further away overnight before he started on the monday?

BUT if I was you I'd lie to the agent too......

[mmo0690]

I recently got turned down for a 6 months contract because of pregnancy. It was only last weeks of last months are affected. I have mentioned that I will accommodate the lost days well beforehand to keep everything in check. Still it wasn't enough and turned down on the basis of timings.

It is not even about being sexist in any way. But I do wonder if that would be the same if it was a future dad in my situation, will he get the contract?

[NotAllThere]

I bet male contractors don't get asked the same question

That's cos you're sexist.

vwdan may be male. (Could be wrong).

I once had something similar. Call seemed to be going okay, role sounded fairly legit and he just randomly comes out with "So, what's your home situation?". I was a bit taken aback, and asked for clarification and he started down the line of "Oh, I'm just wondering - y'know, you married, got kids?". I answered yes and yes and it then rapidly became "So, how are they with you working away? You're not going to be running back home all the time are you?" etc.

I was absolutely stunned, to be honest - really taken aback. Without saying the exact words, I pretty much told him to **** off. Told him how inappropriate and legally questionable this line of thinking was. Said I was a successful contractor who'd more than proven myself reliable and I wasn't going to be justifying myself on the phone to a recruiter, and nor was I interested in their job.

[Slinky]

Hi

I am a long time reader on this forum, since I started contracting a year ago. I am currently looking for a new 3 months contract and expecting a baby in end of July/very early August.

Just been on the phone with an agent from Insight IT. He asked usual agency sneaky questions, which is fairly understandable. Also, he asks if I have any young children which I need to do school runs and things like that. I didn't know what to answer out of shock and just say no. After the call, I find it so offensive that I am now fuming angry.

How do you deal with those sort of altitude? or is it a norm, I need to grow to live with in contracting world.

thanks.

I am fuming for you! As a woman with young children it infuriates me that you have to come up against this blatant discrimination. But hey that's the nature of contracting, and if i'm asked outright i'll just deny it. I started looking for my first contract this week and I've even deactivated all my social media incase they go snooping. I am not stupid enough to demand working from home or constant days off to look after sick kids. What a shame that i'm having to hide my kids like i'm ashamed. Given that i'm selling myself as a business it is in my interests to get a good reputation and be reliable.

I bet male contractors don't get asked the same question. Times are changing and in my case I am the bredwinner, my husband will be at home with the kids if they are sick or grandparents. But for some reason that idea seems inconceivable to some?

[psychocandy]

Crikey. PC agreeing with me and Simes posting something remotely correct. I'm liking this. I'm sure it won't last long though

sure you'll be back to talking tulipe soon.

[simes]

Correct which is why I don't really mind the question for remote gigs.

To be fair as long as he's delivering it shouldn't really matter about times but that's not how the client sees it.

Ah well, if he is delivering then all well and good. I was understanding a lack of delivery in his absenteeism. The client will have to be educated.

[northernladuk]

Crikey. PC agreeing with me and Simes posting something remotely correct. I'm liking this. I'm sure it won't last long though

[psychocandy]

I had a similar line of questioning when I went for my last remote gig and, to be honest, it didn't really bother me. Both the agent and the client at the interview checked on my situation.

Previously I've been turned down for a gig because it was based in Maidstone and the feedback was they've been burned by remote contractors taking the gig and then leaving early as it's too much. I didn't get the chance to explain my situation and how it won't affect remote working. I might have gotten the gig if they'd asked me and I had the chance to make the situation clear.

I've also worked with a number of remote contractors and a majority of them have been a pain in the arse, either giving up a few months in or hitting the desk first week and immediately asking for a couple of days WFH etc. It's inconvenienced me and the client was less than happy as well. We've got one here at the moment that is constantly missing trains and turning up late (if at all) due to distance. He's a decent contractor but his reputation is in the gutter.

I can understand why they ask and as it's no issue to me I don't mind explaining. The logistics is a risk to the client so, if done properly, I don't see why they shouldn't check. Blatant discrimination isn't acceptable though.

For a change you're right NLUK. I don't think you can blame a client being a bit wary to be honest for the reasons above.

My client is a nightmare for not thinking of this. They offered perm role (crap pay as well) to a guy who lived about 90-120 mins drive away (in an area where the job market is way better than wales). This guy had just been made redundant. It was obvious he was in "feck I've been made redundant Im going to apply for every job within 2 hours drive" mode.

You can guess what happened. Didn't turn up. Got something closer to home.

[northernladuk]

Fair play.

But it is Exactly this sort of behaviour that is shooting everyone else in the foot when it comes to what others may perceive as intrusive questions. To my mind, if this type of behaviour is all pervasive, then I find myself siding with the agent. He needs to ask, and then even challenge the answer.

Personally, I wouldn't want to be recruiting the same position every two months...

As to your guy, sounds like he needs a rocket.

Correct which is why I don't really mind the question for remote gigs.

To be fair as long as he's delivering it shouldn't really matter about times but that's not how the client sees it.

[simes]

Fair play.

But it is Exactly this sort of behaviour that is shooting everyone else in the foot when it comes to what others may perceive as intrusive questions. To my mind, if this type of behaviour is all pervasive, then I find myself siding with the agent. He needs to ask, and then even challenge the answer.

Personally, I wouldn't want to be recruiting the same position every two months...

As to your guy, sounds like he needs a rocket.

[northernladuk]

How, may I ask, does that make him decent?

I mean he knows his stuff. Without the travel issues he'd be good.

[simes]

We've got one here at the moment that is constantly missing trains and turning up late (if at all) due to distance. He's a decent contractor but his reputation is in the gutter.

How, may I ask, does that make him decent?

[northernladuk]

I once had something similar. Call seemed to be going okay, role sounded fairly legit and he just randomly comes out with "So, what's your home situation?". I was a bit taken aback, and asked for clarification and he started down the line of "Oh, I'm just wondering - y'know, you married, got kids?". I answered yes and yes and it then rapidly became "So, how are they with you working away? You're not going to be running back home all the time are you?" etc.

I was absolutely stunned, to be honest - really taken aback. Without saying the exact words, I pretty much told him to **** off. Told him how inappropiate and legally questionable this line of thinking was. Said I was a succesful contractor who'd more than proven myself reliable and I wasn't going to be justifying myself on the phone to a recruiter, and nor was I interested in their job.

Wish I could remember who it was, but it was a couple of years ago now.

I had a similar line of questioning when I went for my last remote gig and, to be honest, it didn't really bother me. Both the agent and the client at the interview checked on my situation.

Previously I've been turned down for a gig because it was based in Maidstone and the feedback was they've been burned by remote contractors taking the gig and then leaving early as it's too much. I didn't get the chance to explain my situation and how it won't affect remote working. I might have gotten the gig if they'd asked me and I had the chance to make the situation clear.

I've also worked with a number of remote contractors and a majority of them have been a pain in the arse, either giving up a few months in or hitting the desk first week and immediately asking for a couple of days WFH etc. It's inconvenienced me and the client was less than happy as well. We've got one here at the moment that is constantly missing trains and turning up late (if at all) due to distance. He's a decent contractor but his reputation is in the gutter.

I can understand why they ask and as it's no issue to me I don't mind explaining. The logistics is a risk to the client so, if done properly, I don't see why they shouldn't check. Blatant discrimination isn't acceptable though.

[vwdan]

I once had something similar. Call seemed to be going okay, role sounded fairly legit and he just randomly comes out with "So, what's your home situation?". I was a bit taken aback, and asked for clarification and he started down the line of "Oh, I'm just wondering - y'know, you married, got kids?". I answered yes and yes and it then rapidly became "So, how are they with you working away? You're not going to be running back home all the time are you?" etc.

I was absolutely stunned, to be honest - really taken aback. Without saying the exact words, I pretty much told him to **** off. Told him how inappropiate and legally questionable this line of thinking was. Said I was a succesful contractor who'd more than proven myself reliable and I wasn't going to be justifying myself on the phone to a recruiter, and nor was I interested in their job.

Wish I could remember who it was, but it was a couple of years ago now.

[mmo0690]

I am not sure I am allowed to, not sure about the forum rules. He is from Insight IT. But if you like, I can pm you his name.