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Please....young single guy alert here. I know your both 30+ and the biological clock is ticking but for the love of god I don't want to hear it....
It will get worse. Trust me.
The Missus & I decided we wouldn't have kids (bad role models, too icky, irresponsible attitudes, The Bomb, not ready yet, global overpopulation, just not interested, too lazy, etc.)
But we have been subjected to listening all our friends & peers talking about the whole kids thing for the past ten bloody years.
Ovulation: how, where and when to shove the thermometer so Daddy-To-Be can be told when he is allowed Humpy Pumpy this month. I've seen charts Blu-Taked to the fridge, FFS.
Nappies. For some reason, parents only talk about the contents of nappies at the dinner table. When we were all childless, I was the disgusting one. I haven't changed but now they can all gross me out with just a few words. "See this asparagus? When it comes out of Tabatha it always..."
"So, house prices, new car, blah, blah, Timmikins come here" ... inserts hand down back of nappy and sniffs ... "you need changing young man, ask for promotion and would you care for a second helping? Oh, not eating?"
Baby's first tulip. I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT THANKYOUVERYMUCH.
Tear or cut? Discuss.
Words that will make me leave the room: Prolapse. Haemorrhoids. Ectopic pregnancy. Fibroids.
Drivelling in TPD is not a mental health issue. We're just community blogging, that's all.
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