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    You are put in charge of managing the latest off-site entertainment for the permies' team-building event. You build a large perspex container, with a high-torque, high-speed belt sander as the floor for this container. Do you oil the walls, or give them half a chance of crawling out over the bodies of their rapidly-diminishing colleagues?

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      The managing director is doing a floor walk around clientco, and is approaching your desk. Think fast - what item will you grab from your desk to maim him before the permies can intervene? An extra point for the funniest answer.

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        Originally posted by realityhack View Post
        You are put in charge of managing the latest off-site entertainment for the permies' team-building event. You build a large perspex container, with a high-torque, high-speed belt sander as the floor for this container. Do you oil the walls, or give them half a chance of crawling out over the bodies of their rapidly-diminishing colleagues?
        No oil, but place a large red button near the top than can be reached by climbing on the bodies of the fallen. It doesnt actually stop the sanding belt, just makes it run in the opposite direction. Not that there is anything to infomr them of this.
        "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

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          Originally posted by DaveB View Post
          So yuo walk in, smile sweetly and sit in the chair. When they ask you what you want say "Just a perm please"
          Give them a challenge
          Where are we going? And what’s with this hand basket?

          Comment


            Originally posted by realityhack View Post
            The managing director is doing a floor walk around clientco, and is approaching your desk. Think fast - what item will you grab from your desk to maim him before the permies can intervene? An extra point for the funniest answer.
            Nothing myself, just enquire loudly about the new "Dead Mens Shoes" promotion policy being introduced and leave the rest to the permies.
            "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

            Comment


              Originally posted by realityhack View Post
              You're locked in an arena with several hundred dribbling permies lurching towards you, as in a Romero film.
              What is your weapon of choice to quickly and efficiently despatch them all?
              Molotov cocktails with used £50 notes as the wick
              Si posse, recte, si non, quocumque modo rem

              Comment


                Originally posted by realityhack View Post
                The managing director is doing a floor walk around clientco, and is approaching your desk. Think fast - what item will you grab from your desk to maim him before the permies can intervene? An extra point for the funniest answer.
                {Looks around desk, sees only a 2gb memory stick and a plastic cup}
                Where are we going? And what’s with this hand basket?

                Comment


                  Originally posted by realityhack View Post
                  You're in a meeting, and one of the permies starts spouting management bulltulip, using phrases like 'low hanging fruit, raising the bar, getting on the bus' etc.

                  Do you:

                  a) Lunge over the desk and stab him in the eyes with two HB pencils
                  b) Force-feed him one of the conference phones
                  c) Stamp repeatedly on his head until it is but a mushy pulp, or
                  d) Other - please state.
                  d) every time he utters one of the phrases shout "Kerching". When he asks why tell him how much you are earning whilst sitting there. Then grab a roll of used £50 notes, set fire to them and shove them down his throat.
                  Si posse, recte, si non, quocumque modo rem

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by realityhack View Post
                    In a permie team meeting, with 5 persons present, how many hungry and tortured wolverines should you release into the room, for entertainment purposes?
                    18 - no point in risking one of them getting away!
                    Si posse, recte, si non, quocumque modo rem

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                      On a side note I think RH has been spending too much time reading "Grimtooth's Traps"

                      Which doesnt bode well for us if he has.....
                      Last edited by DaveB; 6 August 2008, 14:14.
                      "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

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