You are put in charge of managing the latest off-site entertainment for the permies' team-building event. You build a large perspex container, with a high-torque, high-speed belt sander as the floor for this container. Do you oil the walls, or give them half a chance of crawling out over the bodies of their rapidly-diminishing colleagues?
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The managing director is doing a floor walk around clientco, and is approaching your desk. Think fast - what item will you grab from your desk to maim him before the permies can intervene? An extra point for the funniest answer.Comment
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No oil, but place a large red button near the top than can be reached by climbing on the bodies of the fallen. It doesnt actually stop the sanding belt, just makes it run in the opposite direction. Not that there is anything to infomr them of this.Originally posted by realityhack View PostYou are put in charge of managing the latest off-site entertainment for the permies' team-building event. You build a large perspex container, with a high-torque, high-speed belt sander as the floor for this container. Do you oil the walls, or give them half a chance of crawling out over the bodies of their rapidly-diminishing colleagues?"Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.Comment
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Give them a challengeOriginally posted by DaveB View PostSo yuo walk in, smile sweetly and sit in the chair. When they ask you what you want say "Just a perm please"
Where are we going? And what’s with this hand basket?Comment
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Nothing myself, just enquire loudly about the new "Dead Mens Shoes" promotion policy being introduced and leave the rest to the permies.Originally posted by realityhack View PostThe managing director is doing a floor walk around clientco, and is approaching your desk. Think fast - what item will you grab from your desk to maim him before the permies can intervene? An extra point for the funniest answer."Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.Comment
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Molotov cocktails with used £50 notes as the wickOriginally posted by realityhack View PostYou're locked in an arena with several hundred dribbling permies lurching towards you, as in a Romero film.
What is your weapon of choice to quickly and efficiently despatch them all?Si posse, recte, si non, quocumque modo remComment
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{Looks around desk, sees only a 2gb memory stick and a plastic cup}Originally posted by realityhack View PostThe managing director is doing a floor walk around clientco, and is approaching your desk. Think fast - what item will you grab from your desk to maim him before the permies can intervene? An extra point for the funniest answer.Where are we going? And what’s with this hand basket?Comment
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d) every time he utters one of the phrases shout "Kerching". When he asks why tell him how much you are earning whilst sitting there. Then grab a roll of used £50 notes, set fire to them and shove them down his throat.Originally posted by realityhack View PostYou're in a meeting, and one of the permies starts spouting management bulltulip, using phrases like 'low hanging fruit, raising the bar, getting on the bus' etc.
Do you:
a) Lunge over the desk and stab him in the eyes with two HB pencils
b) Force-feed him one of the conference phones
c) Stamp repeatedly on his head until it is but a mushy pulp, or
d) Other - please state.Si posse, recte, si non, quocumque modo remComment
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18 - no point in risking one of them getting away!Originally posted by realityhack View PostIn a permie team meeting, with 5 persons present, how many hungry and tortured wolverines should you release into the room, for entertainment purposes?Si posse, recte, si non, quocumque modo remComment
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On a side note I think RH has been spending too much time reading "Grimtooth's Traps"
Which doesnt bode well for us if he has.....Last edited by DaveB; 6 August 2008, 14:14."Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.Comment
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