Jokelets

[sgrollitt]

An overweight blonde visited her dietician who advised her to run four miles a day for 300 days. After 300 days she phoned back and said: "I've lost three stones but I'm 1,200 miles from home".

A man goes to the doctor and says: "My brother thinks he's a chicken. He's been like it for two years". The doctor asks why he didn't come before.
The man replies: "We wanted the eggs".

[sgrollitt]

More jokelets

Mr and Mrs Potato had three daughters. One evening their eldest girl announced that she was going to marry King Edward. "Great" said her mum, "you'll be a queen".
Then daughter number two announced her engagement to a Jersey Royal and mum was over the moon. Finally, the youngest daughter gushed: "I'm going to be married to John Motson".
"But you can't marry him", wailed mum, "he's just a common tater".

One for Xavier O'Ggoth - sorry to get personal, but you do keep going on about your age:

Two elderly couples are chatting. One of the men says: "We went to a great restaurant last night".
"What was it called?" asks his pal.
He racks his brain. Then he says: "What's that red flower you give to someone you love?"
"A rose" his mate says.
"Rose" calls the man, "What's that restaurant we went to last night?"

[xoggoth]

Re: More jokelets

That's quite ok sg. I plan to run a series on my ailments from next week, with emphasis on bowel problems.

Now Thora's dead I have managed to secure a great sponsorship deal from Stannah.

Excellent wierd as usual.