Re: More jokelets
That's quite ok sg. I plan to run a series on my ailments from next week, with emphasis on bowel problems.
Now Thora's dead I have managed to secure a great sponsorship deal from Stannah.
Excellent wierd as usual.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Reply to: Jokelets
Collapse
You are not logged in or you do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons:
- You are not logged in. If you are already registered, fill in the form below to log in, or follow the "Sign Up" link to register a new account.
- You may not have sufficient privileges to access this page. Are you trying to edit someone else's post, access administrative features or some other privileged system?
- If you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it may be awaiting activation.
Logging in...
Previously on "Jokelets"
Collapse
-
Guest replied
-
Guest repliedMore jokelets
Mr and Mrs Potato had three daughters. One evening their eldest girl announced that she was going to marry King Edward. "Great" said her mum, "you'll be a queen".
Then daughter number two announced her engagement to a Jersey Royal and mum was over the moon. Finally, the youngest daughter gushed: "I'm going to be married to John Motson".
"But you can't marry him", wailed mum, "he's just a common tater".
One for Xavier O'Ggoth - sorry to get personal, but you do keep going on about your age:
Two elderly couples are chatting. One of the men says: "We went to a great restaurant last night".
"What was it called?" asks his pal.
He racks his brain. Then he says: "What's that red flower you give to someone you love?"
"A rose" his mate says.
"Rose" calls the man, "What's that restaurant we went to last night?"
Leave a comment:
-
Guest started a topic JokeletsJokelets
An overweight blonde visited her dietician who advised her to run four miles a day for 300 days. After 300 days she phoned back and said: "I've lost three stones but I'm 1,200 miles from home".
A man goes to the doctor and says: "My brother thinks he's a chicken. He's been like it for two years". The doctor asks why he didn't come before.
The man replies: "We wanted the eggs".Tags: None
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Streamline Your Retirement with iSIPP: A Solution for Contractor Pensions Sep 1 09:13
- Making the most of pension lump sums: overview for contractors Sep 1 08:36
- Umbrella company tribunal cases are opening up; are your wages subject to unlawful deductions, too? Aug 31 08:38
- Contractors, relabelling 'labour' as 'services' to appear 'fully contracted out' won't dupe IR35 inspectors Aug 31 08:30
- How often does HMRC check tax returns? Aug 30 08:27
- Work-life balance as an IT contractor: 5 top tips from a tech recruiter Aug 30 08:20
- Autumn Statement 2023 tipped to prioritise mental health, in a boost for UK workplaces Aug 29 08:33
- Final reminder for contractors to respond to the umbrella consultation (closing today) Aug 29 08:09
- Top 5 most in demand cyber security contract roles Aug 25 08:38
- Changes to the right to request flexible working are incoming, but how will contractors be affected? Aug 24 08:25
Leave a comment: