Worst injury you've had

[Chugnut]

BMX injuries mostly from when I was a kid before I had a mortage, loss of income awareness, and fear glands.

- Jumping off a makeshift ramp, trying to look cool in front of mates by turning the front wheel, but forgot to turn it back. Exit front of stage, using left elbow as a brake. No broken bones, just a big hole, and lots of blood.

- Cycling down a hill probably doing about 35-40 mph. Lifted the front wheel to get off the road onto the pavement. Not enough though, cue BIG wipeout into a hedge, in mid air for about 10 meters. Must have looked hilarious, but it didn't feel very funny at the time though.

- Before his dad picked him up from my house, I decided to do an "endo" in front of my mate to show him what fun it was, but slipped off the pedals and used my plums to break the fall. My mate cackled, "Wait, did you just land on your plums!?". I was having breathing difficulties but to save face managed to convince him I hadn't. The pain, size, and multi-coloured gonads I had on closer examination once he'd left told a different story however. One of them is still a bit nervous.

[Moose423956]

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/spo...cle2344258.ece

Some good ones there

I feel faint looking at those kickboxing ones. Yuk.

When I was putting together a slide for the kids, I was trying to tighten a particularly inaccessible screw. Had my head close to the slide so I could see what I was doing. Screwdriver slipped, bounced off the middle of the right lens of my glasses, and plunged into the side of my nose. Blood everywhere, very painful - but could have been a whole lot worse if I hadn't been wearing glasses.

[wendigo100]

Fell flat on my face in the playground & damaged my nose (deflected septum)

Fell off bike when I missed a gear & landed in patch of brambles.... and nettles... aaaaaaaaargh!

Fell off motor scooter on back lane & ended up with embedded red ash... Aaaaaaaaaaaargh! squared.

All in all, nothing to write home about...

Ahem. What about getting shot with a homemade gun?

[vetran]

I'm only a beginner

Bicycle meets a Roller + Caravan combo (yeah I know odd isn't it, I'm not sure I was paying attention at the time but thats whay I remember) I now have a Planet of the apes style lobotomy scar on my bonce as well as a non natural bald spot.

Burnt my fingers on some lamb chops one evening (wait for it) next day I tried climbing little Chamonix , my mate on the end of the rope wasn't paying attention, so I fell and missed by millimetres being turned castrato on a particularly sharp spear shaped rock. Difficult to explain to the Doc why I had a stab wound in my Scrotum.

Not as bad as my mate (the Dopey one on the rope) He borrowed his brothers 125 to get some fags from the garage (he was nearly fifteen) took the corner too fast, vaulted a Capri (hard top luckily) and sanded his Kneecap off on the Garage forecourt. He then ended up in the 'Bike Ward' at the local hospital. Some of the guys there had impressive injuries I felt like an underachiever, Curly was in traction (they were still trying to find a bone in his body he hadn't broken) didn't stop him banging the nurse, apparently the whole ward had to suffer nights of OOOOH,Grunt - zing, clatter, thud (as the weights moved) - respect!

[wendigo100]

Nasty.

Wot bore was it?

Ah, I didn't mean me.

I thought you might mention it since it nearly killed you ... (gasps!) ... does the term "war criminal" ring any bells?

[DBA_bloke]

We had a psycho teacher (didn't we all) who was a cricket nut. He was from Yorkshire. He had his own cricket pitch "carved out" of the school playing field. He used to mow the pitch grass himself, cordon-off the pitch when not in use, etc. He loved his pitch. LOVED it.

One sunny summer's day, he took his maths class out to play cricket on his beloved pitch (it was that sort of school). Anyway, he put one of the lads from his class in to bat first, and, in typical Yorkshireman-showing-how-to-bowl-properly style, he did the longest run-up in history, and then performed a genuinely impressive, too-fast-to-see-the-ball bowl... the crack of the ball hitting the batting lad's nose was something to remember... as were the copious gouts of blood squirting out of his smashed face... and the lad's fainting. The funniest thing was that the teacher was barely concerned about the lad being stretchered off to hospital, but was very concerned (incandescent) that the ball had careered off line, owing to some "bastard" having ridden a horse across his pitch! The ball had hit a horseshoe imprint and so veered out of line, etc.

Best days of your life.

[Svalbaard]

Nasty bu**er...

Just interested

I was stung by a jellyfish whilst diving a wreck in Menorca. That hurt lots.

[xoggoth]

Playing football as goalie. Some bastard booted the ball right at me hard and, being really crap at football, I did not get my hand in position on time and it hit me right on the end of the extended little finger. 15 years later the joint is about twice the size of the other one and gives me constant gip.

[wendigo100]

Not the worst, but once when I got a cricket ball in my meat and two veg, they were still a bit tender a couple of weeks later, so my doctor sent me for a scan.

It was carried out by TWO nurses at Hemel hospital, who took turns to rub jelly and that vibrator thingy all round the tender parts.

That's the only time I've ever contemplated Elton John's arse - it was the only way of controlling my nob.

[gadgetman]

Aged 3 I blew a hole in my right hand when I pulled apart a badly wired electrical extension cable. Still got quite a bad scar on my palm to prove it.

Whilst in hospital for a skin graft on the hand I caught chicken pox.

My son, also aged about 3 (now 15), tried to haul himself up on a boiling hot radiator with both hands. His hands ballooned with blisters - very nasty. Resulted in a trip to Stoke Mandeville and his hands in plastic bags for several days and bandages for weeks afterwards.

Thankfully he had no lasting damage.