Reply to: Worst injury you've had

[Joe Black]

Well, since this thread has been resurrected I'll add my own personal favourites.

Thumb snapped all the way back after putting my hands out to protect myself after coming off a motorbike and unfortunately my hands reaching the gutter first.

Fractured knee cap after hitting a car which pulled out, having accelerated a bit too quickly.

Various bits of skin burnt off after coming off on a corner while riding down a hill, a bit too quickly

Hand cut half open after not being able to make a corner (Embankment*), while on a motorbike, taking out a lamp-post in the process.

No doubt there's a common thread here somewhere...


* there's a limit as to how fast you can go round any curve.

[EternalOptimist]

went into the pub with my dad about 30 years ago and saw this right old bruiser, broken nose, scars all over his head, busted lip etc.
my dad said ' dont worry about HIM, worry about the b@stard who did it to him'

true really

[wendigo100]

Was he there too?

Fair point - no thank god!

[wendigo100]

You may well laugh ...

[DBA_bloke]

Never broken a bone, but I do play lacrosse (think ice-hockey levels of contact, but on grass) and have suffered the following;

Bruised ribs
Concussion
Dislocated fingers
Various dead arms/legs
Bruised bollock (though I had cancer until the lump went down)
Split tooth, subsequently extracted
Ruined knee cartialage, which now forces me to exercise with a ridiculous contraption stabilising my patella.

Still play though.

Have you considered Whist, instead?

[Moscow Mule]

Never broken a bone, but I do play lacrosse (think ice-hockey levels of contact, but on grass) and have suffered the following;

Bruised ribs
Concussion
Dislocated fingers
Various dead arms/legs
Bruised bollock (though I had cancer until the lump went down)
Split tooth, subsequently extracted
Ruined knee cartialage, which now forces me to exercise with a ridiculous contraption stabilising my patella.

Still play though.

[sasguru]

Not the worst, but once when I got a cricket ball in my meat and two veg, they were still a bit tender a couple of weeks later, so my doctor sent me for a scan.

It was carried out by TWO male nurses at Hemel hospital, who took turns to rub jelly and that vibrator thingy all round the tender parts.

That's the only time I've ever contemplated Elton John's arse - it was the only way of controlling my nob.

[Lucy]

Not the worst, but once when I got a cricket ball in my meat and two veg, they were still a bit tender a couple of weeks later, so my doctor sent me for a scan.

It was carried out by TWO nurses at Hemel hospital, who took turns to rub jelly and that vibrator thingy all round the tender parts.

That's the only time I've ever contemplated Elton John's arse - it was the only way of controlling my nob.

Was he there too?

[gadgetman]

Aged 3 I blew a hole in my right hand when I pulled apart a badly wired electrical extension cable. Still got quite a bad scar on my palm to prove it.

Whilst in hospital for a skin graft on the hand I caught chicken pox.

My son, also aged about 3 (now 15), tried to haul himself up on a boiling hot radiator with both hands. His hands ballooned with blisters - very nasty. Resulted in a trip to Stoke Mandeville and his hands in plastic bags for several days and bandages for weeks afterwards.

Thankfully he had no lasting damage.

[wendigo100]

Not the worst, but once when I got a cricket ball in my meat and two veg, they were still a bit tender a couple of weeks later, so my doctor sent me for a scan.

It was carried out by TWO nurses at Hemel hospital, who took turns to rub jelly and that vibrator thingy all round the tender parts.

That's the only time I've ever contemplated Elton John's arse - it was the only way of controlling my nob.

[xoggoth]

Playing football as goalie. Some bastard booted the ball right at me hard and, being really crap at football, I did not get my hand in position on time and it hit me right on the end of the extended little finger. 15 years later the joint is about twice the size of the other one and gives me constant gip.

[Svalbaard]

Nasty bu**er...

Just interested

I was stung by a jellyfish whilst diving a wreck in Menorca. That hurt lots.

[DBA_bloke]

We had a psycho teacher (didn't we all) who was a cricket nut. He was from Yorkshire. He had his own cricket pitch "carved out" of the school playing field. He used to mow the pitch grass himself, cordon-off the pitch when not in use, etc. He loved his pitch. LOVED it.

One sunny summer's day, he took his maths class out to play cricket on his beloved pitch (it was that sort of school). Anyway, he put one of the lads from his class in to bat first, and, in typical Yorkshireman-showing-how-to-bowl-properly style, he did the longest run-up in history, and then performed a genuinely impressive, too-fast-to-see-the-ball bowl... the crack of the ball hitting the batting lad's nose was something to remember... as were the copious gouts of blood squirting out of his smashed face... and the lad's fainting. The funniest thing was that the teacher was barely concerned about the lad being stretchered off to hospital, but was very concerned (incandescent) that the ball had careered off line, owing to some "bastard" having ridden a horse across his pitch! The ball had hit a horseshoe imprint and so veered out of line, etc.

Best days of your life.

[wendigo100]

Nasty.

Wot bore was it?

Ah, I didn't mean me.

I thought you might mention it since it nearly killed you ... (gasps!) ... does the term "war criminal" ring any bells?

[vetran]

I'm only a beginner

Bicycle meets a Roller + Caravan combo (yeah I know odd isn't it, I'm not sure I was paying attention at the time but thats whay I remember) I now have a Planet of the apes style lobotomy scar on my bonce as well as a non natural bald spot.

Burnt my fingers on some lamb chops one evening (wait for it) next day I tried climbing little Chamonix , my mate on the end of the rope wasn't paying attention, so I fell and missed by millimetres being turned castrato on a particularly sharp spear shaped rock. Difficult to explain to the Doc why I had a stab wound in my Scrotum.

Not as bad as my mate (the Dopey one on the rope) He borrowed his brothers 125 to get some fags from the garage (he was nearly fifteen) took the corner too fast, vaulted a Capri (hard top luckily) and sanded his Kneecap off on the Garage forecourt. He then ended up in the 'Bike Ward' at the local hospital. Some of the guys there had impressive injuries I felt like an underachiever, Curly was in traction (they were still trying to find a bone in his body he hadn't broken) didn't stop him banging the nurse, apparently the whole ward had to suffer nights of OOOOH,Grunt - zing, clatter, thud (as the weights moved) - respect!