• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    I took my clarinet back to the music shop, "I don't know what it is, " I said, "I can only seem to be able to play one tune on it, Perfect Day, nothing else seems right or in tune. " "Let's have a look, " said the assistant as he dismantled my clarinet, "ha, there's the problem, looks like it was fitted with a Lou Reed. "
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      Trump claims immigrants are eating cats and dogs.

      That's nothing, just wait until winter in the UK, pensioners will be eating Tiddles and Rex as well.
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        What are the government giving the elderly this winter????


        Hyperthermia
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          Originally posted by vetran View Post
          What are the government giving the elderly this winter????


          Hyperthermia
          really?

          Comment


            I discovered a tiny space in a Scotsmans loft, where he was keeping whisky miniatures, I thought this is a little dram-attic.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              Originally posted by sadkingbilly View Post

              really?
              Oddly enough yes from their own calculations.

              https://www.independent.co.uk/news/u...-b2609340.html

              Cut to winter fuel payment could kill 4,000 people, Labour’s own research suggests


              Analysis published by Labour in 2017 said plans to means test winter fuel payments would be the ‘single biggest attack on pensioners in a generation’
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                Churchill: We shall fight them on the beaches!.

                Thatcher: The lady's not for turning!.

                Starmer: It was an honest mistake that I forgot to declare that a fat, gay Bengali millionaire pays for my wife's drawers!.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  Originally posted by vetran View Post
                  What are the government giving the elderly this winter????


                  Hyperthermia
                  Originally posted by vetran View Post

                  Oddly enough yes from their own calculations.

                  https://www.independent.co.uk/news/u...-b2609340.html
                  death by OVERheating? - really?
                  waw

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by sadkingbilly View Post



                    death by OVERheating? - really?
                    waw
                    sorry missed that.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      This year I’m doing No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-November - where for the month of November I only listen to 2-Unlimited
                      …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X