I took my clarinet back to the music shop, "I don't know what it is, " I said, "I can only seem to be able to play one tune on it, Perfect Day, nothing else seems right or in tune. " "Let's have a look, " said the assistant as he dismantled my clarinet, "ha, there's the problem, looks like it was fitted with a Lou Reed. "
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
Trump claims immigrants are eating cats and dogs.
That's nothing, just wait until winter in the UK, pensioners will be eating Tiddles and Rex as well.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
What are the government giving the elderly this winter????
HyperthermiaAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Originally posted by vetran View PostWhat are the government giving the elderly this winter????
HyperthermiaComment
-
I discovered a tiny space in a Scotsmans loft, where he was keeping whisky miniatures, I thought this is a little dram-attic.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Originally posted by sadkingbilly View Post
really?
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/u...-b2609340.html
Cut to winter fuel payment could kill 4,000 people, Labour’s own research suggests
Analysis published by Labour in 2017 said plans to means test winter fuel payments would be the ‘single biggest attack on pensioners in a generation’Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Churchill: We shall fight them on the beaches!.
Thatcher: The lady's not for turning!.
Starmer: It was an honest mistake that I forgot to declare that a fat, gay Bengali millionaire pays for my wife's drawers!.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Originally posted by sadkingbilly View Post
death by OVERheating? - really?
wawAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
This year I’m doing No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-November - where for the month of November I only listen to 2-Unlimited…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- An IR35 bill of £19m for National Resources Wales may be just the tip of its iceberg Nov 7 09:20
- Micro-entity accounts: Overview, and how to file with HMRC Nov 6 09:27
- Will HMRC’s 9% interest rate bully you into submission? Nov 5 09:10
- Business Account with ANNA Money Nov 1 15:51
- Autumn Budget 2024: Reeves raids contractor take-home pay Oct 31 14:11
- How Autumn Budget 2024 affects homes, property and mortgages Oct 31 09:23
- Autumn Budget 2024: Reeves raids contractor take-home pay Oct 31 09:20
- Autumn Budget 2024: Umbrella companies hit, Employer NICs hiked, and BADR heading for 18% Oct 30 16:54
- Autumn Budget 2024: chancellor’s full speech Oct 30 16:34
- RecExpo got told this about Labour’s Employment Rights Bill… Oct 30 09:10
Comment