Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

In honour of COP27 I'd like to point out that cycling doesn't help prevent climate change at all.

Just think how much carbon is emitted from all the cremations after they inevitably get hit by buses.

[eek]

There’s an approval process at Twitter, it used to quite short, but now it’s Elon Gated.

[vetran]

Reports are coming in that Boy George has been attacked by a reptile on the set of I'm a Celebrity.

They should have got a calmer Chameleon, but apparently, they come and go.

[vetran]

My boss phoned and said, "Why aren't you at work?"

"My girlfriend is going to have a baby," I replied.

"Congratulations," he said, "is it a boy or girl?"

"I don't know," I replied, "I'll tell you in nine months time."

[WTFH]

What has four letters, occasionally has twelve letters, always has six letters, but never has five letters


?

[vetran]

What has four letters, occasionally has twelve letters, always has six letters, but never has five letters


?

WTFH a man of letters that count?

[vetran]

Tablets were replaced by scrolls.
Scrolls were replaced by books.

Now we scroll through books on tablets.

[vetran]

Typical bloody government..they give you £324 universal credit top up but then don't tell you which horse to put it on...

[vetran]

'...For Christmas last year I got a sweater.

This year, I'm hoping for a screamer or a moaner.'

[vetran]

'...I LOVE this time of year, just before Christmas.

When your partner walks into the room you can slam your laptop shut and you don't get any disgusted looks.