Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

After slipping out for a quick fag break today, I looked up at the clear, blue sky and witnessed two planes colliding.

I guess I'm just not cut out to be an air traffic controller.

[vetran]

I was wondering why my wife was throwing Stephen King books at me.....
Then It hit me.

[vetran]

I was at a fancy dress party recently, and pulled a blonde dressed as a pheasant.

She was fair game.

[WTFH]

Couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper so I tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.

I’m now sitting in A&E waiting to see a cardyologist.

[vetran]

What's the difference between warty's jokes and his penis?

No one laughs at his jokes

[vetran]

Why is it spelled 'camouflage' and not

[vetran]

A man has been admitted to hospital with six plastic horses stuck up his bum.


Hi condition is described as stable.

[vetran]

I'm not surprised they changed the word 'fellatio' to 'blowjob'.

It's a bit of a mouthful.

[vetran]

Me: You know what? I'm sick of all this bulltulip!
Mate: Don't blame me, you chose to work as a farmer!

[WTFH]

Anyone interested in going the FA Cup final in a helicopter?
I'm looking for 2 people to join us. Leave Saturday from Exeter Airport, fly to London, have breakfast, watch the match then fly home.

DM if interested, pref someone with a helicopter and tickets, otherwise we can't go