Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

I once did my best Mr. T impression - "I pity the fool !...

Anyway, my upset wife said I made a "complete mockery" of when we renewed our vows.

[NotAllThere]

My grandmother stopped driving at 95...

...after getting 6 points on her license and a fine. Now she drives at 70.

[vetran]

I went to my Doctor and told him that I've lost my sense of taste and smell and my testicles are swollen.

"I'm sorry"..he said "It sounds like you have Cojonavirus."

[vetran]

I was arguing with my wife and my son yelled "Yay! Two Christmases!" from his bedroom.

[vetran]

I've just found out that my wife has been secretly funding a paedophile ring!

I cancelled our TV license ages ago but she has reinstated it

[vetran]

My wife's going out clothes have missed her so much she put them on yesterday and they hugged her so tightly she couldn't move.

[vetran]

I went to Clarks today. I said " I'd like a par of crocodile shoes please".

The assistant said "ok what size does your crocodile take".

[vetran]

I'm really pleased that our band has just signed a Jamaican triangle player.

Now every little *ting* is gonna be all right!

[NotAllThere]

Did you know that ten plus ten is the same as eleven plus eleven?




Ten plus ten is twenty. Eleven plus eleven is twenty too.

[vetran]

I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son"

"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."

He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"