The new royal baby has been named Jamie Hewitt Mountbatten-Windsor in honour of her grandfather.
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Please put more jokes here
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Earlier this week I climbed Mount Everest in 48 hours.
I got back home and have spent 72 hours undoing the top of the Listerene Mouthwash bottle....Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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What's the difference between a proclamation from the Vatican and a mail-order husband from ebay?
One's a papal mandate and the other's a paypal man-date.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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My dad always turns his head slightly away from the printer when he's using it
Apparently he can only see it in his peripheral vision.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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The Head Chef always goes off on one when my batter isn't light enough.
He has a proper tempura tantrum.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I can't wait until the year 8008 so we can all write BOOB without getting into trouble.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I was trying to put a new bag in my bin but it just kept saying "no, no, no" it was a refuse sack.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Dave: "My Dad says You're spying on us...!"
Zuckerberg: "He's not your dad"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Today I watched a documentary about crustaceans and I saw a crab take another crab's food...
...crabs can be so shellfish right?Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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The Russian army orders 100K rubbers from a US company, specifying 12" fit needed.
The US firm fills the order with packaging marked "MEDIUM."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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