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Please put more jokes here

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    "I don't believe in God and all that rubbish. I'm a realistic girl and I need evidence before I believe in crap like that...

    I'm a typical virgo".
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I first met my wife when she came into the welding workshop that I worked in.


      There were sparks between us
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I just fell over in the library. It was in the non friction section
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          A Belgian farmer has accidentally moved part of the French border!


          France are tulipting themselves and say they dont want any trouble
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Wise old Chinese man say man who walk through doorway sideways with erection always going to Bangkok
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              A man in his 60s has been hit by a car on a main road in Hyde.

              What sort of a idiot goes bird watching in the middle of the road?
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Paddy said "Vaseline plays a very important role in my sexual relationship with my wife."
                Mick said " That's interesting Paddy but I thought you had a little dick."
                Paddy replied " I have, but I smear the vaseline on the bedroom door handle so the misses can't get out!"
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I was showing my mate my new golf ball.
                  "It's impossible to lose," I said. "If you hit it into the rough it sends out a GPS signal so you can track it down."
                  "That's great," he replied, "but what happens if you it hit into the water?"
                  "Simple. The ball floats to the surface and tracks its way back toward you and you just scoop it back out."
                  "Brilliant!" he said, "Where did you get it?"
                  "I found it."
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    I went to visit my wife in hospital and took her flowers.

                    My girlfriend will love them.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      A Polish man walks into Specsavers for an eye test. The optician shows him the test card, and on it says:

                      "C Z W J X N Y S A C Z"
                      The optician then asks him "Can you read that?"

                      The Polish man says "Read it? I know the chap"!
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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