Please put more jokes here

[LondonManc]

A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says "I think I might be a type O."

[LondonManc]

I was shagging the MILF next door over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, "That's my husband! Quick try the back door!"

Thinking back, I should have really legged it, but you don't get invites like that every day!

[BrilloPad]

A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says "I think I might be a type O."

AWesome! Will use that on my children to remind them to leave home....

[vetran]

Gone and got myself one of those things today that even an American president can't get.










A twitter account.

[vetran]

So Lewis Hamilton gets a knighthood for driving a fast car..


But when I drive fast I get 3 points and a ******* fine

[vetran]

I'm not saying Americans are ******* thick.


But they have competitions for spelling bee.

[NotAllThere]

A macaroni, a penne and a spaghetti were drinking wine in a bar one evening.
They saw a noodle sitting by himself, and discussed inviting him to join them.

They all agreed he looked cannelloni.

[vetran]

A drop dead gorgeous blonde at the club said to me, "How about free drinks all night in return for sex?"


"Are you sure?,"I asked.


"Yes," she smiled.


"Because," I said, "I can drink a lot of whisky, you know."

[vetran]

Wife: " what the **** is this pile of clothes left on the landing"
Me:"I struck down a jedi"
Wife: "god I ******* hate you"
Me: "good use your anger"

[vetran]

Be careful, If you suddenly start singing Duran Duran or Spandau Ballet songs. If you have, seek medical attention straight away.
You have almost certainly been affected by the New Wave.