• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    The wife's never happy.


    I told her I worship the ground she walks on.


    She said she'd prefer me to worship her and not the ground.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      Originally posted by vetran View Post
      nope some women are petty clever, at least the women aren't stupid enough to post pictures in the wrong thread!
      Good joke from the guy who deleted the picture he posted!
      …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

      Comment


        If anyone's got any old toy story characters they don't want give me a buzz
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          My girlfriend reckons I'm "out of shape".
          My way of thinking is 'pear is a shape'.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            "Biden’s coughing during campaign speech alarms supporters"


            It shouldn't. It proves he's still alive.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              I saw sign outside the gym. It said: Open 24/7.


              I thought, "That's blooming useless. July is ages away."
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                I released my own fragrance today.




















                No one else on the bus seemed to like
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  I was just washing up, with the back door open, when suddenly, an owl flew in.


                  It dried all the pots and put them away then flew right back out.!
                  Couldn’t believe it!


                  Think it was a Teat Owl….
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    "Harry and Megan accuse the uk of structural racism"


                    For anyone who is unfamiliar with that name, do you remember around 10 years ago there was a ginger lad going around in a nazi uniform shagging soap stars...
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by vetran View Post
                      The wife's never happy.


                      I told her I worship the ground she walks on.


                      She said she'd prefer me to worship her and not the ground.
                      My girlfriend worshipped the ground I walked on.
                      In a fit of jealousy and rage
                      I dug up my footprints.

                      (Steve Turner).
                      Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X