My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic…But I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
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I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper, so i tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.I'm in A&E now waiting to see a cardyologist.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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"Diana!" I said greeting my Mother-In-Law as she walked through the door...She said, "My name's Anna." I said, "Yeah, I know."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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If light travels faster than the speed of sound…How come I can hear the guy in the BMW behind me honk before the light turns green?Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I must get my dyslexia sorted out. I bought a car off ebay last week with no reserve. The ******* thing won't go backwards.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I got really emotional at the petrol station this morning. I don't know why, I just started filling up!Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Originally posted by vetran View PostHave you noticed how many F1 drivers have names linked to Scottish towns?
Stirling Moss, Lewis Hamilton, Eddie Irvine.......
Ayr Town Centre....When freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply.....Comment
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To ride a horse, or not to ride a horse.
That is equestrian.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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