You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
"You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member of the Magic Semi-circle"Comment
-
-
My boss told me I should dress for the job I want, not the job I have.
So now I'm sat in an HR review meeting dressed as Batman."Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.Comment
-
BrilloPad ensure your next marriage proposal comes as a complete surprise by asking your girlfriend while she's having a poo.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
-
If you want to experience your very own fully immersive Brexit negotiations, try cancelling your gym membership.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
-
I had to divorce my wife because she loved sex in the morning.
Right after I left for work.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
I am so much in debt , I can start a government.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?
An ambulanceAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Newton's Third Law of Women:
For every male action, there is a female overreaction.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
Partners
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Streamline Your Retirement with iSIPP: A Solution for Contractor Pensions Sep 1 09:13
- Making the most of pension lump sums: overview for contractors Sep 1 08:36
- Umbrella company tribunal cases are opening up; are your wages subject to unlawful deductions, too? Aug 31 08:38
- Contractors, relabelling 'labour' as 'services' to appear 'fully contracted out' won't dupe IR35 inspectors Aug 31 08:30
- How often does HMRC check tax returns? Aug 30 08:27
- Work-life balance as an IT contractor: 5 top tips from a tech recruiter Aug 30 08:20
- Autumn Statement 2023 tipped to prioritise mental health, in a boost for UK workplaces Aug 29 08:33
- Final reminder for contractors to respond to the umbrella consultation (closing today) Aug 29 08:09
- Top 5 most in demand cyber security contract roles Aug 25 08:38
- Changes to the right to request flexible working are incoming, but how will contractors be affected? Aug 24 08:25
Comment