You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.
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"You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member of the Magic Semi-circle"Comment
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Tim Vine?…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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My boss told me I should dress for the job I want, not the job I have.
So now I'm sat in an HR review meeting dressed as Batman."Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.Comment
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BrilloPad ensure your next marriage proposal comes as a complete surprise by asking your girlfriend while she's having a poo.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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If you want to experience your very own fully immersive Brexit negotiations, try cancelling your gym membership.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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I had to divorce my wife because she loved sex in the morning.
Right after I left for work.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I am so much in debt , I can start a government.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?
An ambulanceAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Newton's Third Law of Women:
For every male action, there is a female overreaction.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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