A choirboy returned to the church and raped the priest who had abused him years earlier. When arrested, the police took his mitigating circumstances into consideration and only charged him with a breach of the priest.
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Please put more jokes here
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"Dad, do you remember telling me you would buy me a car if I could prove I wasn't gay,"
"Yes, of course I do, the offer still stands."
"Well get your money out, this is my friend Alan, and he will swear I am the most miserable bastard he has ever f***ed."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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My wife just said she wants to renew our marriage vows.
She got quite upset when I told her not to bother and let them expire.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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My wife says I'm insensitive to the needs of those who are mentally challenged.
So just to prove her wrong, I've set up a 5k charity run called 'Race for Retards'Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I've just seen the doctor. He says I need to get out more.
To be specific I need to get out of his wife, his bed and his houseAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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A phoned 999 and asked what number to ring if it wasn't an emergency.
"101!" Replied the operator.
Then I phoned 101 and left a message informing them that my wife was being murdered.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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For Scooter2
I was reading an article in the Daily Mail about how charities in Scotland receive 3 times as much Lottery funding as those in England.
Hardly sounds fair, until you consider that playing the Lottery is the main industry in Scotland nowadays.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Pinocchio's wife was really upset when he became a real boy.
She missed his wood.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I've got an Adele satnav in my car.
I'm sick of the sight of McDonald's.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I would make a really good procrastinator...if I ever got around to it.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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