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Advice on Speech - Best Man

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    Originally posted by wobbegong
    Saw a prog with Lenny Henry last night, in which the best man asked that if anyone still had a key to the (now) brides flat, could they please hand it back, at which point 19 guys (of all ages) got up and placed a key on the head table. He then went on to count them and say that there were originally 20, and as he was a true mate of the grooms, he'd return his key too.

    Might be an old gag, but it worked well. LH advised him against doing it, but readily confessed he was wrong, and that it'd worked well.

    Saw that one as well. Liked the bit where he visited the old folk sheltered accomodation where his mum had lived. He got collared by one old bird who insisted on telling him jokes. She only knew three, all of them filthy
    "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.


      DaveB - that link looks excellent, thanks! Probably worth a tenner to subscribe as the material they are showcasing is spot on.

      (But don't be taking my post off script talking about Lenny Henry!!)

      Any other suggestions guys?


        The advice about alcohol is spot on for the best man.

        Just remeber one thing:-

        A bloke who's pissed.........

        - Talks b0ll0x
        - Smells disgusting
        - And walks with rubber legs

        So stick to the 12-pint mark!


          and don't mention the bit about shagging the bridesmaids....

          ...or the bride
          "I can put any old tat in my sig, put quotes around it and attribute to someone of whom I've heard, to make it sound true."
          - Voltaire/Benjamin Franklin/Anne Frank...


            Just remember that everyone there wants your speech to be entertaining and funny - no one's there to heckle you!! So, don't get too drunk and don't over step the mark and offend anyone and you'll be fine...

            Stick to more personal stories and anecdotes rather than generic jokes found on the web, makes the whole thing more personal and original...

            In my BM speech I had a theme of cars as the groom was quite obsessed with them at the time. In part of the speech I talked of his Ex's in relation to cars - he tried 'topless models' and 'ones with big rear bumpers', he's had 'brand spanking new' and he's tried 'high mileage oldies'!! etc... Was very tongue in cheek but went down well.....

            Also on his stag do I had him up on stage in Prague having candle wax dripped over him by some naked Czech ladies.... I included a little in-joke in the speech about having a 'low-key' stag where we saw many 'fine sights of natural beauty' and even had a 'candle lit dinner'!! For those that weren't in the know it went right over their heads - meanwhile he was bricking it that his missus would find out...

            He's going to be my best man in a couple of weeks and now I'm a little worried about what will come out, so remember what goes around....!!

            Good luck!!
            Last edited by Orbit; 13 June 2007, 15:19.