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Advice on Speech - Best Man

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    Advice on Speech - Best Man

    Simple question really...

    There's a lot of 'funny' people on here so was hoping I could get some good pointers for a speech I need to deliver in my role as best man.

    Have you ever been to a wedding with a good best man speech? What was funny about it? I'm just looking for any generic things/stories you've heard that I can pinch...

    It's either that or I feign insanity to get out of it...

    #2
    I once heard someone start a best man's speech by saying, "Being asked to be a best man is like being asked to shag the Queen Mother. You don't really want to, but you can't really say no..."

    (Mind you, this was a few years ago, and she was still alive. Perhaps you could substitute QM....)

    Comment


      #3
      Just think up some funny childhood stories (like when bill ran into a lamppost because he was gawking at some girl, etc) Bear in mind that the whole family is going to be there so a witty anecdote about the time bill went to Holland and caught the clap is probably not a good idea....

      Make sure you practise the speech beforehand and don't drink too much before you stand up, nobody wants to hear some drunk twat dribbling on. And the most important thing is have extra material. When I did mine half of my jokes got stolen by the groom/other speakers who got up before me so I had to thyink on my feet a bit.

      A good one is always read something awkwardly telling everybody how wonderful the goorm is and then stall half way through and then complain about the grrom's writing ability

      Comment


        #4
        Someone I know once started their best man speech with "Thank you all for coming, in both senses of the word!".

        He thought "I'll start with a joke and get them all on-side". Whilst this is sound advice, the joke wasn't.

        You could count the tumbleweeds apparently.

        There was a website called Confetti; there's lots of advice on there for everyone with a role on the day. We used it a lot when we got married.

        Good luck.

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          #5
          If you get stuck theres is always http://www.thebestmanspeech.com/
          "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

          Comment


            #6
            I've done the best man thing twice now - even though after the first time I did it I said I'd never do it again. there are loads of websites where you can nick witty anecdotes and tulip like that. Have a few drinks but don't get too pissed - the second speech I did was a pretty slurred affair to say the least.
            Call the cops

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              #7
              Saw a prog with Lenny Henry last night, in which the best man asked that if anyone still had a key to the (now) brides flat, could they please hand it back, at which point 19 guys (of all ages) got up and placed a key on the head table. He then went on to count them and say that there were originally 20, and as he was a true mate of the grooms, he'd return his key too.

              Might be an old gag, but it worked well. LH advised him against doing it, but readily confessed he was wrong, and that it'd worked well.
              The vegetarian option.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by wobbegong
                Saw a prog with Lenny Henry last night, in which the best man asked that if anyone still had a key to the (now) brides flat, could they please hand it back, at which point 19 guys (of all ages) got up and placed a key on the head table. He then went on to count them and say that there were originally 20, and as he was a true mate of the grooms, he'd return his key too.

                Might be an old gag, but it worked well. LH advised him against doing it, but readily confessed he was wrong, and that it'd worked well.
                Would have been quite good if the head bridesmaid had returned the 20th key.

                Comment


                  #9
                  I was at a wedding once where the best man whipped out a guitar and performed a song about the groom - his brother. Excellent work. The whole speech was in 4 verses and the chorus was a complete pisstake.

                  I made a best man's speech where I used a theme, starting from a quote by Aldous Huxley: "The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of childhood into maturity" - and <groom's name> is the brightest lad I know...

                  Stick to a story, or theme, to carry you through the whole thing, and remember etiquette - like thanking the parents, compliment the bride, bridesmaids etc.

                  And remember to slow down, and breathe.

                  Edit: Oh, and they say never to go up there unprepared and just wing it - but I veered off-script completely and it worked out well (It helped having some pointers to hand in case I started to struggle).
                  Last edited by realityhack; 13 June 2007, 09:56.

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                    #10
                    I was best man for my brothers wedding in the US, I could not think of a speach at all and had a whole year to get one!!! I just add libbed, and it worked out fine, need less to say I had a gaggle of Amercan birds chatting me up later wanting to hear my voice, then again the wedding was in South Carrolina.
                    SA says;
                    Well you looked so stylish I thought you batted for the other camp - thats like the ultimate compliment!

                    I couldn't imagine you ever having a hair out of place!

                    n5gooner is awarded +5 Xeno Geek Points.
                    (whatever these are)

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