- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Jokes for Accountants
Collapse
X
-
-
There was an accountant called Darren........When freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply..... -
As long as his name ain't John...Originally posted by TestMangler View PostThere was an accountant called Darren........I was an IPSE Consultative Council Member, until the BoD abolished it. I am not an IPSE Member, since they have no longer have any relevance to me, as an IT Contractor. Read my lips...I recommend QDOS for ALL your Insurance requirements (Contact me for a referral code).Comment
-
There was an accountant named Darren
Who left customer's accounts looking barren
He stole all their money
Without a care or a worry
And spent all of it on a Merc for his mistress, a box at Leeds football ground & a maserati. The lying, thieving piece of sh1t!
Last line needs some work I think.Comment
-
Originally posted by Pondlife View PostThere was an accountant named Darren
Who left customer's accounts looking barren
He stole all their money
Without a care or a worry
And spent all of it on a Merc for his mistress, a box at Leeds football ground & a maserati. The lying, thieving piece of sh1t!
Last line needs some work I think.
Comment
-
on the way to the finance team as we speak!Originally posted by Darren at DynamoAccounts View PostComment
-
FTFY semi rhymes with 3rd line now..sort ofOriginally posted by Pondlife View PostAnd spent all of it on a Merc for his honey, a box at Leeds football ground & a maserati. The lying, thieving piece of sh1t!So now I am worried, am I being deceived, just how much sugar is really in a spoon full!Comment
-
Comment
-
It's a limerick. The 3rd line shouldn't rhyme with the first two.Originally posted by DallasDad View PostFTFY semi rhymes with 3rd line now..sort of
When freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply.....Comment
-
Ah but I have never been to Ireland so I wouldn't have known that.Originally posted by TestMangler View PostIt's a limerick. The 3rd line shouldn't rhyme with the first two.
So now I am worried, am I being deceived, just how much sugar is really in a spoon full!Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- IT contractor demand lunged towards growth in April 2026 May 13 04:48
- What does PGMOL’s win over HMRC mean for contractors? May 12 07:25
- Contractors eyeing mortgages ‘unrealistic about BoE’s 3.75% hold decision’ May 11 07:50
- The fake job problem is getting worse. Are contractors a particularly easy target? May 8 07:49
- Government policy on freelancing is stopping the contractor model from doing its thing May 7 08:12
- Contractors, can the new HMRC loan charge settlement opportunity reduce your bill? May 6 07:51
- PGMOL’s ‘not finely balanced’ win over HMRC could be ‘persuasive’ in IR35 cases May 5 07:10
- Is Reporting Company Payments to Participators a concerning consultation for contractors? Apr 29 07:38
- Now it’s finally here, how is HMRC Joint & Several Liability risk being managed, and is payment control the holy grail? Apr 28 06:55
- How Managed Service Providers (MSPs) are hit by HMRC’s Joint & Several Liability Apr 27 06:08

Comment