Labour's smoking ban killed the British pub

[Mich the Tester]

I want to know how really, really, really fat people wipe their arses. Do they have some sort of shoe shine machine in their bathrooms?

Trust you to drag it down even further.

[d000hg]

I want to know how really, really, really fat people wipe their arses.

Bidet? Or maybe they don't.

[MyUserName]

TV and the modern skin tight shirts make players look bigger than they really are. He's a hard bastard though.

Agreed

[Mich the Tester]

Bidet? Or maybe they don't.

Maybe they have an ass-istant to do it for them.

Sorry

[Platypus]

I want to know how really, really, really fat people wipe their arses

Top tips for you here:

How do fat people wipe their bum? - Yahoo Answers

EDIT: MF has one of these
Bottom Buddy | Toilet Tissue Aid | Toilet Paper Holder

[GlenW]

How do blind people know when to stop wiping their bum?

[Mich the Tester]

How do blind people know when to stop wiping their bum?

[Sysman]

And then there's another category that I'll call 'gravitational anomaly'. People who are so fat they are able to block an entire aisle in the supermarket with their own enormous arse which must in part be due to their huge mass bending space time around them seeing as the aisles are at least 2 metres wide. We've all seen them and that level of fatness requires a considerable food intake, even with a congenital condition.

To be fair I've seen thin folks who seem able to block a whole supermarket aisle or pavement by themselves.

Usually but not always old women.

Of both sexes.

[Sysman]

How do blind people know when to stop wiping their bum?

It is perhaps no coincidence that:

1. Andrex chose Labradors for their adverts
2. Labradors make good guide dogs

[xoggoth]

If any fat lady contractors among the CUK readership would like somebody to wipe their arses, feel free to PM me. I would do it out of pure charity.