Advice Needed - Student Son's housemate threatening violence !

[Ticktock]

He sounds like a bully, this kid. It sounds like his mother has supported him throughout his life, and supports him being a bully.

Not neccessarily. He goes to his mum and complains about being bullied and threatened, his mum believes him and calls the police. Very similar to what has happened to the OP. He may be lying, but I think she would be more concerned about the danger he says he feels he is in and want to try to protect him.

I'd like to know how well that worked for them at school.

That's the whole point - at school, with children, you expect childish behaviour. As an adult you expect adult behaviour. Adults who act as children in the workplace (e.g. shouting when they don't get their own way, trying to bully and intimidate) tend to find themselves shown up when someone calls them on it.


EDIT: And to add, adults who believe that violence is the solution to problems tend to end up in prison.

[Old Hack]

Not neccessarily. He goes to his mum and complains about being bullied and threatened, his mum believes him and calls the police. Very similar to what has happened to the OP. He may be lying, but I think she would be more concerned about the danger he says he feels he is in and want to try to protect him.



That's the whole point - at school, with children, you expect childish behaviour. As an adult you expect adult behaviour. Adults who act as children in the workplace (e.g. shouting when they don't get their own way, trying to bully and intimidate) tend to find themselves shown up when someone calls them on it.


EDIT: And to add, adults who believe that violence is the solution to problems tend to end up in prison.

Crock of tulip. Oh diddums, my boss is being mean and making me work hard. **** a duck, man up. Some people, and I maintain this is absolute, need a kick up the ass to work at 100%, some need cuddling, some need nothing. Identifying who is who, makes you a better manager. Shouting at everyone is a not being a good manager; that you're not seeing the difference paints you in a worse light not me. And as for the edit; Violence isn't the solution for all problems, just some. Again, identifying which is which makes it better on all concerned.

Jesus H, there are some sooks out there.

[Ticktock]

Crock of tulip. Oh diddums, my boss is being mean and making me work hard. **** a duck, man up. Some people, and I maintain this is absolute, need a kick up the ass to work at 100%, some need cuddling, some need nothing. Identifying who is who, makes you a better manager. Shouting at everyone is a not being a good manager; that you're not seeing the difference paints you in a worse light not me. And as for the edit; Violence isn't the solution for all problems, just some. Again, identifying which is which makes it better on all concerned.

Jesus H, there are some sooks out there.

What an angry old man you seem to be. So angry that you didn't read my post.

I didn't mention shouting at everyone. I said shouting at anyone is unacceptable in the modern workplace. That you're not seeing this paints you in a worse light not me.
It's got nothing to do with a manager "making me work hard". There are various ways to do this, all professional. Shouting at anyone is not professional.

You can give a kick up the arse through warnings, disciplinary procedures, etc. Some people do need this to get them going, and in the end it may be that they're simply not suitable and need to be got rid of. Trying to intimidate someone in order to give a kick up the arse will simply lead to you being the one seen as a problem.

About the only thing violence is a solution for is when it is needed in order to physically protect yourself. It is not needed in order to make a point in a business environment.

[MyUserName]

He sounds like a bully, this kid.

And bullies are usually cowards, I agree, but I said earlier it does not mean they cannot be dangerous.

What doesn't surprise me, is that the ones on here I believe are noodle armed choir boys, seem to think a chat will sort it out. I'd like to know how well that worked for them at school.

Would I count as a noodle armed choir boy (no offence taken either way, I am just curious as to how I come across)?

[Old Hack]

And bullies are usually cowards, I agree, but I said earlier it does not mean they cannot be dangerous.



Would I count as a noodle armed choir boy (no offence taken either way, I am just curious as to how I come across)?

No. I was more pointing that towards d000gh.

[MaryPoppins]

Shouting at everyone is a not being a good manager

Good to know you see that as the starting point though.

[MyUserName]

No. I was more pointing that towards d000gh.

He has a temper though. I raised a theological point to him once which he admitted made him think. The next time we exchanged posts he revealed that he had put me on his ignore list!

[Old Hack]

What an angry old man you seem to be. So angry that you didn't read my post.

I didn't mention shouting at everyone. I said shouting at anyone is unacceptable in the modern workplace. That you're not seeing this paints you in a worse light not me.
It's got nothing to do with a manager "making me work hard". There are various ways to do this, all professional. Shouting at anyone is not professional.

You can give a kick up the arse through warnings, disciplinary procedures, etc. Some people do need this to get them going, and in the end it may be that they're simply not suitable and need to be got rid of. Trying to intimidate someone in order to give a kick up the arse will simply lead to you being the one seen as a problem.

About the only thing violence is a solution for is when it is needed in order to physically protect yourself. It is not needed in order to make a point in a business environment.

You ****tard. I never said violence was ok in a work environment. Shouting at some one is ok professionally, especially if they respond to it. Jesus, I have been on projects where towards the squeaky bum time, there have almost been punch ups. Sometimes, a raised voice is needed. It is all about identifying what people respond to; some people need to be pushed, others don't. Some produce their greatest work under pressure, others not. Some people can be left alone, and thrive on that, others need to report every day to keep them motivated and they thrive on it. Not everyone is the same. I have worked for some cracking organisations, and the best managers I have seen, can spot who they have working for them immediately, and adjust how they are treated. You will NEVER succeed as a manager if you treat all as one, and one as all, for everyone is different. Never. People have different demands.

[d000hg]

Just another dumb grunt.

[Old Hack]

He has a temper though. I raised a theological point to him once which he admitted made him think. The next time we exchanged posts he revealed that he had put me on his ignore list!

Oh, but its a kiss me chase me temper though. He once said he'd put me on ignore, but then kept on quoting me, and still saying I was on ignore; he's like a little boy sometimes. His theological standpoint is also amusing.