What is wrong with me?

[gingerjedi]

Why be a victim of the NHS? Surely the solution is simple - Go to a private German doctor.

I went private the first time but the same doctor did the same procedure under the NHS the 2nd time for £2k less, nice recovery room though.

Tell them you need an emergency appointment. Make something up. Appointment given.

I did that, the GP told me I shouldn't have jumped the queue with a tummy bug despite me saying it had gone on for months.

He was ever so polite when I was finally diagnosed with crohns.

[nomadd]

Been ill since I started here in Germany. Low grade fever, aches, pains, bowel pains, loose etc etc.

Caught something and I can't shift it. Gets worse at night or after any sort of exercise.

When was the last time you visited a brothel?

This could either be the cure or the cause of your condition.

Either way, you now know what to do (antibiotics or some "stress release".)*

(* Whatever you do, don't forget to put it through the Company on expenses.)

[NotAllThere]

It's either Lyme disease (which does fit some of your symptoms)

or Lupus.

[DodgyAgent]

Shot to buggery

Aids it is

[EternalOptimist]

I had this mate right, (I say had, because he is, sadly, no longer with us) he suffered from low level symptoms sych as yours. Bloods came back clear, liver ok, poo sample passed the poo test. He was not a big boozer, not stressed.
His GP was baffled. Everyone was baffled.
He mentioned it at a family gathering and his uncle, who had been a Jap POW in Changai, spotted the symptoms straight away. He had a sino-necrotising tapeworm. These intestinal parasites originate in the North of China, but are not uncommon in Indonesia and they cause gradual debilitation, nausea and eventually, brain damage.
Most parasites do not kill the host, but the necrotising tapeworm recognises when the hosts condition is terminal, lays its tadpoles then crawls up through the neck where it feeds on the brain tissue at the top of the stem.
My friend caught the worm at Aldershot, from an Itinerant Shaolin monk

[Mich the Tester]

Old age.

[suityou01]

Old age.

[Old Greg]

Old age.

In combination with obesity related delayed puberty.

[rhubarb]

It's either Lyme disease (which does fit some of your symptoms)

or Lupus.

My wife was diagnosed with Lupus this morning.
Bit worrying really

[Mich the Tester]

Decrepitude.