Just dodged a drunk-driving ban.....

[BrilloPad]

Got a about 4-5 pints in me now, was bombing it back home at about 60 in a 30mph, coppers coming the other way, slowed down just as I passed them, but the rozzers turned around and followed.

Luckily was only a few turns of the wheel from home, kept my speed down, indicated and missed home a bit, got to T-junction, the filth pull up next to me (at which point I realised my deception job had been a good'un), lowered the window and went into my (true) story about how I'm helping their colleagues with id'ing the perp in an assault last week, the Boar asks, "What's that got to do with anything?"

I reply, "Nothing, admittedly", in my most clipped tones. It's dark, I drive pretty well when drunk and made sure I enunciated crisply but didn't overcook in case they caught on.

THe Sow sat next to the Boar asked me how long I had the car, my registered address, why I'd missed my new address (the road is on a slope), I suppose my articulate delivery, high forehead and geek glasses closed the show.

Thank FERRRRRRRRRRRRK they didn't ask me to get out of the car and get close to me. I was nearly toast.....

I live to drink drive another day.




JB

Where were you drinking at 3am?

[aussielong]

Once I went to a posh hotel in Wapping, near The Tower of London,in my pals BMW. I couldn't drive then and so had no licence.

We both got smashed but my pal particularly so. He insisted I drive him home. I remember reversing in the direction of Tower Bridge bunny hopping the car because I couldn't operate the clutch properly due to my inebriation. I got out and left him too it. He drove through Wapping, went over a roundabout and ploughed into a parked car. He drove off. The police later picked him up and he got a large fine and a 3 year ban.

He only avoided jail because he's a mason.
The police don't like it if you hit something and drive off.
I dread to think what would of happened if I had driven the car and had a crash. One and only time I have driven whilst having alcohol in me.

[AtW]

I dread to think what would of happened if I had driven the car and had a crash.

We'd get 3 years of peace on here without seeing your posts?

[aussielong]

We'd get 3 years of peace on here without seeing your posts?

Saturday night on an Internet forum? You sad b*stard.

It's Sunday morning here and I'm off for a 10k run shortly.

HTH

[SupremeSpod]

Once I went to a posh hotel in Wapping, near The Tower of London,in my pals BMW. I couldn't drive then and so had no licence.

We both got smashed but my pal particularly so. He insisted I drive him home. I remember reversing in the direction of Tower Bridge bunny hopping the car because I couldn't operate the clutch properly due to my inebriation. I got out and left him too it. He drove through Wapping, went over a roundabout and ploughed into a parked car. He drove off. The police later picked him up and he got a large fine and a 3 year ban.

He only avoided jail because he's a mason.
The police don't like it if you hit something and drive off.
I dread to think what would of happened if I had driven the car and had a crash. One and only time I have driven whilst having alcohol in me.

Yeah, of course, best thing I ever did, joining. I murdered 16 people last weekend and got off with a £50 fine coz I'm a Mason too.

[escapeUK]

Your post shows a disturbing lack of respect for yourself, society and the law.

Pointless respecting the last two.

Yeah, of course, best thing I ever did, joining. I murdered 16 people last weekend and got off with a £50 fine coz I'm a Mason too.

Well we arent short of people, earners yes we are short of them. If someone who contributes to society kills societies parasites would it be sensible to punish them?

[doodab]

Pointless respecting the last two.

Well we arent short of people, earners yes we are short of them. If someone who contributes to society kills societies parasites would it be sensible to punish them?

Let's all go round to escapeUK's house, rape his mum while he watches, sell all his possessions on ebay and beat him to death and see if he still thinks it's pointless respecting society and the law.

I'd say you were a muppet, but I used to watch the muppet show when I was a kid and I don't think you would have made the grade TBH.

[speling bee]

Let's all go round to escapeUK's house, rape his mum while he watches, sell all his possessions on ebay and beat him to death and see if he still thinks it's pointless respecting society and the law.

I'd say you were a muppet, but I used to watch the muppet show when I was a kid and I don't think you would have made the grade TBH.

You clearly haven't done his mum before.

[nomadd]

Yeah, of course, best thing I ever did, joining. I murdered 16 people last weekend and got off with a £50 fine coz I'm a Mason too.

£50? You were robbed.

Should've just killed 'em.

[MaryPoppins]

I assume this is a male poster doing their best to pretend to be female?! Bit of a cringey effort..