Ok people. Help me out here. I have a lovely open fireplace here, and I'm cold. I have tons of wood (apparently 'seasoned')outside my front door, and some coal. But I have no idea how to light a fire....?
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Practically perfect in every way....there's a time and (more importantly) a place for malarkey.
+5 Xeno Cool Points -
Get a nice local chap in to do it for you while you put the kettle on.Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
Firelighters and newspaper are you're friend... -
lolOriginally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
you need 'small bits' at the bottom
'medium bits' in the middle
'tough bits' at the top
and you need to love it. and feed it.
all the layers need lots of spaces, to allow the air to flow.
So.
empty the grate.
empty the shelf underneath (the ashes)
Get some newspaper, or equiv, and screw it into tight rolls
make a layer at the bottom of the grate
add in some small splinters of wood or firelighters , things that will light easily
add a smaller layer of bigger stuff. small twigs, bits of wood the size of yer thumb etc
add a few big lumps, the size of yer arm. make sure they are dry ( put the wets on later)
you should have a big airy pyramid. stick a match to to some paper at the bottom. and watch what happens
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(>'.'<)
("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to WorkComment
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Have you had your chimney swept recently?While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'Comment
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Pop down to the local garage, pick up one of their portable fuel cans and brim it with unleaded (needs to be the more expensive Super stuff, regular unleaded doesn't burn so well).
When you get back home, soak a rag or old tea towel in the stuff, then stick it in the lid of the can so half the rag is sticking out.
Bung the can in the fireplace, light the rag, then wang a few logs on.
Hey presto, nice and toasty.
And keep 999 on speed dial, just as a precaution.Comment
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V comprehensive EO, thank yoooou!Originally posted by EternalOptimist View Postlol
you need 'small bits' at the bottom
'medium bits' in the middle
'tough bits' at the top
and you need to love it. and feed it.
all the layers need lots of spaces, to allow the air to flow.
So.
empty the grate.
empty the shelf underneath (the ashes)
Get some newspaper, or equiv, and screw it into tight rolls
make a layer at the bottom of the grate
add in some small splinters of wood or firelighters , things that will light easily
add a smaller layer of bigger stuff. small twigs, bits of wood the size of yer thumb etc
add a few big lumps, the size of yer arm. make sure they are dry ( put the wets on later)
you should have a big airy pyramid. stick a match to to some paper at the bottom. and watch what happens
Hum. No. It's been a while.Originally posted by doodab View PostPractically perfect in every way....there's a time and (more importantly) a place for malarkey.
+5 Xeno Cool PointsComment
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Unused fireplace...
Chimney fire.
That is all.Comment
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The chimney has been swept, if that's what you're referring to.Originally posted by minestrone View Post
Practically perfect in every way....there's a time and (more importantly) a place for malarkey.
+5 Xeno Cool PointsComment
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Originally posted by MaryPoppins View PostThe chimney has been swept, if that's what you're referring to.
When freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply.....Comment
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