Lion in Essex

[northernladuk]

Man spots the lion up a tree in an Essex suburb. He calls the local zoo who send round a guy to catch it.
The animal catcher turns up at the mans house with a trampoline, a huge visicous looking dog and a gun.
The animal catch puts the trampoline below the tree and turns to the man
'Right, I am going to climb the tree and scare the lion who will fall out of the tree on to the trampoline. The dog will then jump up and grab it by the nuts until I get down and bob's your uncle'
'Very clever' says the man, 'what is the gun for?'
'Well' says the animal catcher 'If I happen to slip and fall out first I want you to shoot that ******* dog quick!!'

[MarillionFan]

<Dead baby joke>
How do you bring up kids in Africa?

Kick a lion in the stomach!
</Dead baby joke>

[NickFitz]

It's now got a Twitter account: Essex Lion (EssexLion) on Twitter

[EternalOptimist]

<Dead baby joke>
How do you bring up kids in Africa?

Kick a lion in the stomach!
</Dead baby joke>

oh yes.

so nice.
can we sign the lion up to CUK full membership please ? and send this vulture back to the serengeti

[EternalOptimist]

It's now got a Twitter account: Essex Lion (EssexLion) on Twitter

raarrrr

[darmstadt]

Police have reported that with further observation, it turns out the lion in Essex is just a snow leopard with a spray tan and
hair extensions.

[BrilloPad]

It's now got a Twitter account: Essex Lion (EssexLion) on Twitter

Suspended - booooo

[Gentile]

Supposedly: BBC News - Police investigate 'lion' spotted in a field in Essex

Someone said they'd photographed it, but it turned out they were just lion.

[EternalOptimist]

Someone said they'd photographed it, but it turned out they were just lion.

[Gentile]

Shut it, you. Or I'll get EO2 to have a word with you.