Originally posted by Gentile
View Post
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Lion in Essex
Collapse
X
-
-
Was that a mouse squeak?Originally posted by EternalOptimist View Postraarr
Did you mean RRRRROOOOAAAAARRRRRRRComment
-
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
you were born with the lions
and you roar like one too
raarrr
(\__/)
(>'.'<)
("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to WorkComment
-
These jokes about the Essex Lion are inappropriate. Lions are dangerous. At least no one's hurt, that's the mane thing..Comment
-
Q. Why don't lion's like fast food?
A. Because they can't catch it.
....and, em, that's why they don't like it you see. Because it's too fast, etc.
_________
Comment
-
Originally posted by Gentile View PostQ. Why don't lion's like fast food?
A. Because they can't catch it.
....and, em, that's why they don't like it you see. Because it's too fast, etc.
_________

Listen darlin
I tell the bad jokes around here
(\__/)
(>'.'<)
("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to WorkComment
-
I tell the bad jokes when I've been drinking.Originally posted by EternalOptimist View Post
Listen darlin
I tell the bad jokes around here
Some people get violent when they're tipsy, others emotional. I tell crap jokes.
Speaking of which,
Q. Why did the lion lose at poker?
A. He was playing with cheetahs.

____________
Comment
-
Originally posted by Gentile View PostI tell the bad jokes when I've been drinking.
Some people get violent when they're tipsy, others emotional. I tell crap jokes.
Speaking of which,
Q. Why did the lion lose at poker?
A. He was playing with cheetahs.

____________

(\__/)
(>'.'<)
("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to WorkComment
-
Do you really want to see if I run out of lion jokes before you run out of 'Originally posted by EternalOptimist View Post
' smileys?
Comment
-
ok. a joke contest.Originally posted by Gentile View PostDo you really want to see if I run out of lion jokes before you run out of '
' smileys?
you will be sorry.
This lion gets his dinner nicked by a tiger. He's whinging by the water hole and this big hyena says, 'I hate that tiger. why dont we jump him together ? we'll kill him'
so they lay an ambush.
The hyena jumps out, and the tiger batters him. eats one of his legs and ears. The lion does nothing and sneaks away half way through the fight.
next day, the lion turns up at the waterhole, and walks over to the half eaten hyena
'Oh, here he comes. King of the fckng jungle my @rse. where were YOU yesterday?'
'well, you were laughing so much, I thought you were winning'
(\__/)
(>'.'<)
("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to WorkComment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Who the hell is Ethica Resolve — and is it ethical? Today 10:42
- Contractor limited company pension contributions: how to extract profit tax-efficiently? Today 07:44
- The weird, the wonderful and the genuinely useful: what contractors get wrong about expenses Yesterday 06:00
- Right to Work changes from October 2026: a contractor’s explainer Sep 2 15:46
- Data Kraken v Torry Harris: 5 lessons for software developer contractors Sep 2 06:09
- Loan Recall Case Study: Amanda Sep 1 06:00
- How IR35 inflated an £8.5bn consultancy bill — and tests Burnham at the Budget Aug 28 07:47
- Autumn Budget 2026: FCSA’s 5 contractor asks of John Healey Aug 27 04:15
- Andy Burnham's Zoom gripe doesn’t apply to IT contractors, say recruiters Aug 26 03:41
- Check your Loan Recall paperwork for the Isle of Man: it could matter Aug 25 03:27

Comment