Lazy, useless team members: What to do?

[BolshieBastard]

I am also a senior engineering consultant

and if you think that's all a project manager does, then it's obvious that you don't know what a project manager does and are doomed to be one of the little people forever

+You forgot the best bits

Sacking incompetents
Sacking freeloaders
Blacklisting wasters
Collecting my overinflated Salary
Collecting my Bonuses (earned off the backs of the proles)

Collecting a bonus!?

That's ******* permie talk!

[russell]

try three times that figure + Bonuses

Now who's laughing

Boasting about 90k a year , I remember the days I was only earning that.

[Jog On]

I got someone binned once. It was more a knocking over of the first domino in a stack that fell very quickly.

We were billing by the hour and the guy was rolling in at 11 am but billing from 6-7 am every day. He'd disappear for hours on end for what turns out we're coke deals he was doing.

He did nothing and expected us to carry him. PM would email him a task and he'd doctor it and forward it on to me to make it look like PM had emailed the task to me..

Had no intention of pulling any of his weight and expected to bill for more than us while getting us to do his work. Outing him was a joint effort but it was me who lit the fuse.

I'd do it again in a heart beat. This guy was a chancer and a risk to the project.

[russell]

I got someone binned once. It was more a knocking over of the first domino in a stack that fell very quickly.

We were billing by the hour and the guy was rolling in at 11 am but billing from 6-7 am every day. He'd disappear for hours on end for what turns out we're coke deals he was doing.

He did nothing and expected us to carry him. PM would email him a task and he'd doctor it and forward it on to me to make it look like PM had emailed the task to me..

Had no intention of pulling any of his weight and expected to bill for more than us while getting us to do his work. Outing him was a joint effort but it was me who lit the fuse.

I'd do it again in a heart beat. This guy was a chancer and a risk to the project.

That's acceptable.

[Mich the Tester]

That's acceptable.

So you've forgiven him already?

[Old Greg]

I got someone binned once. It was more a knocking over of the first domino in a stack that fell very quickly.

We were billing by the hour and the guy was rolling in at 11 am but billing from 6-7 am every day. He'd disappear for hours on end for what turns out we're coke deals he was doing.

He did nothing and expected us to carry him. PM would email him a task and he'd doctor it and forward it on to me to make it look like PM had emailed the task to me..

Had no intention of pulling any of his weight and expected to bill for more than us while getting us to do his work. Outing him was a joint effort but it was me who lit the fuse.

I'd do it again in a heart beat. This guy was a chancer and a risk to the project.

Do you reckon he'll make it in California?

[Diver]

Collecting a bonus!?

That's ******* permie talk!

That's because I'm a permie now (who works fom home most of the time)

[Jog On]

Do you reckon he'll make it in California?

For a while, until he gets either banged up or knocked off.

[cojak]

So you've forgiven him already?

Yeah, he buys donuts. You only make the coffee...

[Diver]

Yeah, he buys donuts. You only make the coffee...

Would you trust him to make the coffee?