Male Grooming

[Paddy]

Brush teeth (including spare set)
Remove ear wax (from hearing aid).
Nit spay hair
Use nail brush to remove cheese from dick.
Select underwear with least skid marks.
Socks just follow around the house.
Cover up with Old Spice

[EternalOptimist]

Meant to make the manhood look larger by all accounts.....

Excellent !

So THATS why me saus looks so small. It's an Anaconda striving to peek through the canopy of the matto Grosso


I think I'll chop the jungle back, slip on a pair of white cuffs and a bow tie, then leap out of the bathroom at the missus when she comes home from work tonight.
Boy, is she in for a suprise

[Mich the Tester]

Both Mitch and Darmstadt seem to have showers before having a tulip. Surely it's better the other way round?

Erm, yeah, probably is. Thanks. However, this will throw my whole ritual into confusion as I usually need a cup of coffee before having a tulip, which means I'll have to move process step ' drink coffee' to the very beginning of the process, and seeing as I can't drink coffee without a couple of biscuits (puke otherwise) your change request is more complicated than it seems on first impressions.

[Churchill]

Erm, yeah, probably is. Thanks. However, this will throw my whole ritual into confusion as I usually need a cup of coffee before having a tulip, which means I'll have to move process step ' drink coffee' to the very beginning of the process, and seeing as I can't drink coffee without a couple of biscuits (puke otherwise) your change request is more complicated than it seems on first impressions.

Bloody testers being deliberately difficult.

It has ever been thus!

[Mich the Tester]

Bloody testers being deliberately difficult.

It has ever been thus!

It's what pays for my Lobster dinner this evening.

[Churchill]

It's what pays for my Lobster dinner this evening.

And our trip to Dubai tomorrow evening

Chin-chin!

[Paddy]

Erm, yeah, probably is. Thanks. However, this will throw my whole ritual into confusion as I usually need a cup of coffee before having a tulip, which means I'll have to move process step ' drink coffee' to the very beginning of the process, and seeing as I can't drink coffee without a couple of biscuits (puke otherwise) your change request is more complicated than it seems on first impressions.

I get the same problem when changing time zones. Can’t go; so I take a shower. Pop down to the restaurant for breakfast and coffee. Checkout the hotel and then it’s time for a crap. All wrong I tell you.

[Chaffinch]

This whole thread is very, very, very

[darmstadt]

Both Mitch and Darmstadt seem to have showers before having a tulip. Surely it's better the other way round?

Yep it is. Sometimes I can have one before the shower and then another one after but normally the effect of having the shower seems to loosen up the bowels for me. Also cleaning my teeth and using mouthwash always makes me want to pee...

[Mich the Tester]

Yep it is. Sometimes I can have one before the shower and then another one after but normally the effect of having the shower seems to loosen up the bowels for me. Also cleaning my teeth and using mouthwash always makes me want to pee...

Yes, and this entire operation must be carried out with pinpoint precision to avoid confusing any of the various liquids or pastes involved.