Best Man

[shaunbhoy]

Have the honour of being the best man for an old university friend at his wedding in a couple of weeks. This means I am going to have to make a speech. Normally a daunting prospect in any event but made more so by the fact that all his family are so damn PC.

Already been upbraided by his sister in law for using her bog. Apparently I should have used the compost toilet in the garden.

This ought to give you some ideas. I know this is the Father of the Bride speech, but it can be modified to fit. You just HAVE to use the line about the Gardening Simile!!!

[Pondlife]

You'll be great, just don't stress about it.

You can now adapt the classic, " Excuse me for being a little nervous and believe me this isn't the first time today I've got up from a warm seat with pieces of paper in my hand" with an additional "imagine my surprise to find all they had was some moss and a couple of twigs"

Rip the crap out of them (him really) but stay semi respectful of parents/in laws etc.