Relationships - waste of time ?

[lukemg]

Ok, just come out of a 5 year gig, my choice if it matters. Usually try to get a fresh one boxed off before bailing but not this time (pulling power running on UPS I suspect). I am fairly chilled about this, missing the regular workouts but not missing the rows, stupid relationship tests, mood swings etc. Of course you get a sprinkling of long term couples who seem to get along well (this often turns out to have been a public 'front' when it ends in tears) but many others seem to either ignore the relationship because they are too busy with kids or be bloody miserable or end up breaking up.
Now, in't middle ages and before, you were bloody lucky to get to 45 so if you hooked up at 30 you only had 15 years with her (or until the first kid finished her off on the way out), these days you are looking at 50 years and no-one is interesting for that long !
So is this forever stuff just rubbish these days as people aren't prepared to be miserable, they just bail ?
Am I looking at dating sites to get back in the game ? And if so which ones !!! Gulp, that sounds awful, think I better ring her back up !

[Francko]

Am I looking at dating sites to get back in the game ? And if so which ones !!! Gulp, that sounds awful, think I better ring her back up !

Does she have a degree?

[lukemg]

No and frankly I feel a spell away from ma and pa's would have done her the world of good as far as reducing her staggering naivety about how the world works. Great @rse though.....

[TwoWolves]

You'll feel better in time. Dating sites can be good for practice at dating which can feel alien after a long-term relationship.

Got married last May so I'm one of the "believers".

[sunnysan]

My sympathies

Hey lukemg

My sympathies at the breakup of your relationship, its never an easy decision and you can only really tell if its the right thing in hindsight.

Having been through a divorce(not my choice if it makes any difference), its a really heart stomping experience and I have been from being elated to reaching for the razor-blades.

IMHO, rather dont speak too much to your mates or confide in anybody else as everybody is coming from a different angle and being vunerable you will end up heeding advice that is not that great and doing things you will regret. Its a personal situation and listen to your own heart and head.

As far as the sites go, match.com is quite good, but getting out and about is probably better. If you are in London, are relatively well off and look a bit better than Quasimodo, its really not that hard to find something that tickles your fancy.

IMHO , I dont know how cut up you are about it, but rather give the woman a skip for a few months, especially any kind of relationships. Go travleing and get out of your zone, even pick up a contract in Europe somewhere or further afield. Use the time for self reflection, rather than trying to find a new partner. I am back in the shackles now but I regret not using the single time more to explore more possibilites and do more soul searching.

My 5p worth anyway, best of luck

[lukemg]

Ouch, cheers Sunnysan ! I am feeling fine really, quite enjoying not worrying about keeping her happy ! Just thinking about getting back in the game as I have tended to be with a woman most of my adult life, even if it has been different ones and not sure where the next one is coming from !
A mate of mine, who had a very relaxed attitude got married and when I enquired how it came about he said 'look, you get the same grief no matter which one you pick so I decided to just stick with one', now that must be love !

[Spacecadet]

Do a few short term contracts, it'll get you some experience

[kimera]

im knocking on 30 and have two long term relationships end in tears, 6 and 5 years long.

Im now a singleton and have decided unless i meet the "perfect" women I will dieng a lonely man.

Ive seen so many "unhappy" couples who just "put up with it" it grates me.

If your not happy, get rid, dont be scared of being alone it doesnt have to make you lonely.

added advantage is that they both come back for a hands on session once in a while aswell

[kimera]

he said 'look, you get the same grief no matter which one you pick so I decided to just stick with one', now that must be love !

hmmm, see what I mean! id give you 1/100 that ends as a 1 in 3 stat if you get my drift

[threaded]

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

Now, I am older and wiser, and am happy with a girl with big tits.