Have you made peace with god (or the Mods depending on your faith)

[SimonMac]

Make sure you get your post rapture pet insurance

• I love animals, and am willing to care for pets after the Christian Rapture. ✔
• I am not, and never have been a born-again Christian. ✔
• I believe it is immoral to have sex with animals, and have no desire to do so. ✘
• I believe it is immoral to consume common domesticated pets (note: this includes goldfish!), and have no desire to do so.✔
• If you agree with, then please contact JesusPets to join our international community of JesusPets Partners! ✔

So close

[RichardCranium]

Just imagine - posting on CUK at the speed of light!

I can.

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[NickFitz]

If I'd known about this long enough in advance I would have grown long hair and a beard so I could go round Christians' houses tomorrow, knocking on the door and saying "I'm back - get your coat"

[Pondlife]

If I'd known about this long enough in advance I would have grown long hair and a beard so I could go round Christians' houses tomorrow, knocking on the door and saying "I'm back - get your coat. No, not you love, you stay sat there for a while"

FTFY

[Old Greg]

I got banned from the rapture ready forum, but not before picking up some survival tips for the post-rapture one world government. PM me for details, at a cost of 100 Standard Drawing Rights.

[Sysman]

If I'd known about this long enough in advance I would have grown long hair and a beard so I could go round Christians' houses tomorrow, knocking on the door and saying "I'm back - get your coat"

An can we go via your bank, 'cos you won't need that dosh any more?

Here's a thought:

Do you really want to go to a place that's going to be full of hell fire preachers, telling you "Told you so!"?

[TykeMerc]

Here's a thought:

Do you really want to go to a place that's going to be full of hell fire preachers, telling you "Told you so!"?

Interesting thought, after due consideration my response would have to be "Hell NO!"

[RichardCranium]

Is Jesus coming back as a carpenter again? Or the modern equivalent, anyway.

If so, watch out for any spotty git who works on the tills in Ikea who wears socks 'n' sandals.

[Old Greg]

Is Jesus coming back as a carpenter again? Or the modern equivalent, anyway.

If so, watch out for any spotty git who works on the tills in Ikea who wears socks 'n' sandals.

Nah - he'll be a humble recruitment agent.

[RichardCranium]

a humble recruitment agent.

I know we should expect miracles, but that's beyond the pale!