Dear Marge...

[OwlHoot]

Re: Good Advice

If he wants sex, perhaps her best bet longer term is to tell him she's on the pill, and then not be ..

Then after a few months, if she gets pregnant with his child and can prove adultery or something on his part, she can divorce him and keep the house (a no-brainer in the circs, I'd have thought).

Of course the snag is she'd need to have his child, which she may now very understandably find a repellent prospect.

[Lucifer Box]

Re: Good Advice

Funnily enough, Owl, I thought of that too. A bit nasty, but a possibility if she really wants to p1ss on his chips. Also they're not married, so not entirely sure she'd be able to take his house off him and chuck him out.

Apparently they are still "sharing a bed" as it were. It all sounds mad to me. What she wants is marriage and kids. What he wants is someone to do his cooking and cleaning and have sex with, with strictly none of this "love" stuff and him playing Dungeons and Dragons with his friends every night.

She's coming round for tea tomorrow, so I expect lots of tears and no backup from her parents or her sister (i.e. my wife).

[Board Game Geek]

Re: Good Advice

playing Dungeons and Dragons with his friends every night

Oi ! Careful with that aspercion !

He sounds like a complete Chav, and Chav's don't have the imagination to indulge in D&D.

Anyway, D&D is just sooooo last century. It's the one people remember but there are hundreds of other RPG's now in the hobby. It's a bit like saying Football is the only game involving a ball.

It's interesting to note that like any niche hobby, you have your different groups of players.


Munchkins

These usually adolescent players who crave the phattest sword, the best magic items, the most powerful guns, the biggest, best, whatever.

Common Munchkin Quote

"Yeah, Deathkiller is my uber-kewl L932 Rogue/L486 Wizard/L7120 Warrior/L5200 God. I've been playing him for a week now. My sword, called "Slayer of Souls" does 30,000 D20+2 Damage. He can fly through solid rock backwards even whilst he is asleep, and all the Gods are afraid of him. Last week he razed the City of Avernus (pop. 200,000) to the ground with a fireball fired from his Wand of Ultimate Destruction, causing 3 billion hp’s of damage. He rocks”

Loonies

The wear sandals, have beards, drink real ale and are in their 30’s-40’s

Common Loonie Quote

"So there I was, with Ignatious Firetoes, my cross-dressing gnomish warrior, surrounded by a horde of evil orcs, intent on ripping me to pieces. Luckily, I had the Magic Jar of KY Jelly, which I smeared all over myself, before running right through them and escaping their clutches. Luckily for me, my trusty steed, Boo the Space Hamster, was waiting just behind them, and we took off and went on a tour of the Ice Cream Caves of Zentus Prime.

Real Roleplayers

Shun the Munchkins and Loonies. Usually in their 30’s, but can be younger. Like to talk about character.

Common Real Roleplayer Quote

“Praxis looks around the room at the Kings guards with a hint of danger in his eyes. Without warning, he dives off the balcony on to the chandelier, drawing his antique rapier from the scabbard. He lets out a cheery “au revoir” to the Captain of the Guard, as he sails past, his rapier darting like a snake at the Captain’s Pantaloons and unfastening the belt buckle”

[hattra]

Re: Good Advice

LB,

If you can't get her down to the solicitors, try the Citizens Advice Bureau - less formal - "just getting an idea of your rights in case you need to use them" approach.

BTW - is she sure he did pay off his mortgage with it? If he didn't and paid off (say) a bank loan or something, or a debt she was unaware of, then it's "obtaining money by deception". Call the Police - he's going down. I think the complaint to the Police can be made by anyone, but IANAL.

If he did pay off the mortgage, and took the money from her for that purpose, then he has effectively given her a share of the property, in which case she can apply to the Court for it to be sold whenever she wants as previously stated.

IIRC, he may have a tax liability, as you can give somebody as many small money gifts as you want (usually under £300), but only one gift per annum of more than £5000 (that figure may be a couple of years out of date).

His only hope is to claim that it was a loan. Without written repayment terms, I believe it should be repayable on demand.

Regardless of what happens, he sounds like he needs a good kicking.

BTW - the legal concept of "common law wife" hasn't existed for centuries - I remember reading that it originally arose in communities without a priest to cover the period between the "wedding" in front of friends and relatives (usually when the woman discovered the reason for her sudden weight gain) and the next visit of the circuit priest.

D & D - Good Lord - that takes me back! Anyone remember Traveller?

[Lucifer Box]

Re: Good Advice

Thanks Hattra, some good stuff there. I will try her with the suggestion of the CAB. However I feel I'm just as likely to find out tomorrow she's decided to stay to cook and clean for him in case he changes his mind. We shall see, but thanks all for being so helpful with the advice and legal ins and outs. We're obviously all getting soft in our old ages!

I did a bit more Traveller than was healthy when I was a lad. Mind you, I still went to the pub and ogled birds so it can't have been all bad.

[Not So Wise]

Re: Good Advice

a)Take her to a lawyer or CAB and get proper advice

If she refuse's to go, wash your hands of the whole thing and tell your better half you don't want to know anything more about till point a) is covered

You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink, so why stress yourself if they horse will die because it is too stupid to do what needs doing and what only it can do?

[WageSlave1]

Re: Good Advice

Anyway, D&D is just sooooo last century.

Hey, D&D, that takes me back to y high geek days. There were the standard geeks who enjoyed AD&D, Warhammer and a couple of others, and then there were the uber geeks into ‘live’ role playing; dressing up as Elves and beating the crap out of each other with rubber weapons :lol

[SupremeSpod]

Re: Good Advice

My mate has offered to get the money back less 20%, no questions asked.

[Lucifer Box]

Re: Good Advice

If she refuse's to go, wash your hands of the whole thing and tell your better half you don't want to know anything more about till point a) is covered

Thanks, Wise, that is definitely the approach to take. After all, it isn't my sister at the end of the day.

The reason everyone's looked at me to do something is that for a few years I managed my sis-in-law's finances for her, as she was not capable of doing it herself. Nothing major, just making sure there was enough money in her current account to pay the bills, that she had a competitive savings account and that her ISA was full.

[Lucifer Box]

Re: Good Advice

My mate has offered to get the money back less 20%, no questions asked.

spod, that would be a "court" fee, yeah?

Would you mate be prepared to leave a "reminder" as well?