Sick jokes about tragedies

[Pondlife]

A Rabbit walks in to a butchers shop and up to the counter;
Rabbit: Good Morning Mr Butcher. Can I have two lettuce leaves please?
Butcher: Sorry, this is a butchers, we only sell meat.
Rabbit: Ok, not to worry. Bye

Next day, Mr Rabbit goes in to the same butchers shop;
Rabbit: Good Morning Mr Butcher. Can I have two lettuce leaves please?
Butcher: I told you yesterday, we only sell meat.
Rabbit: Ok, not to worry. Bye

Next day, Mr Rabbit arrives at the butchers again;
Rabbit: Good Morning Mr Butcher. Can I have two lettuce leaves please?
Butcher: LOOK, No Lettuce only meat. P1ss off
Rabbit: Ok, not to worry. Bye

Next day, As previous, Mr Rabbit arrives at the butchers again;
Rabbit: Good Morning Mr Butcher. Can I have two lettuce leaves please?
Butcher: If you ask me that one more time I’m gonna take two nails and pin your fcking ears to my counter. P!SS OFF.
Rabbit: Ok, not to worry. Bye

Next day, like clockwork, Mr Rabbit enters the butchers shop.
Rabbit: Good Morning Mr Butcher. Do you have any nails today please?
Butcher: Erm no, why?
Rabbit: In that case, I’d like two lettuce leaves.


& Self

[TheFaQQer]

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? Doug!

What do you call a man without a shovel in his head? Douglas!

[MaryPoppins]

How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a lightbulb?






Penis

I need to stop reading this thread, it's making me snigger.