Sick jokes about tragedies

[MaryPoppins]

I went into a pet shop the other day.

I said to the fella behind the counter, 'Hi there, do you sell wasps?'

He looked puzzled.

He said 'No, I don't sell wasps. Why?'

'Ah never mind' I said.

'I saw some in your window last summer.'

[mudskipper]

I went into a pet shop the other day.

I said to the fella behind the counter, 'Hi there, do you sell wasps?'

He looked puzzled.

He said 'No, I don't sell wasps. Why?'

'Ah never mind' I said.

'I saw some in your window last summer.'

That made me smile.

[MaryPoppins]

What do donkeys on Blackpool Beach have for their lunch?

15 minutes.


Ooh, and I remembered this one:


I went to the zoo the other day.

All they had was one, small dog.

It was a shit: zoo.

[MaryPoppins]

That made me smile.

I'm sad to tell you that these jokes are among my favourite.

[shaunbhoy]

Man walks into a bar with a biscuit tin and a duck. He places the tin on the bar and puts the duck on top of it, and the duck starts to dance around.
Before very long, word has spread and a huge crowd is thronging in the bar to see the amazing dancing duck.
Business has never been so good. At the end of the night the takings are phenomenal, and the barman calls the guy over and asks "How much for the Duck?"
The guy is very reluctant to sell and says that he and the duck are very close, and go way back. Anyway, after much arm twisting the barman offers him a price that even he cannot refuse, so the guy agrees to sell him the duck.
The next day the barman cannot wait to open up. He gets the duck on the tin on the bar and opens the door and a huge crowd pours in.
However, the duck stubbornly refuses to do anything but simply stand there.
In desperation the barman rings the guy that sold him the duck and begs him to come over and sort things out.
The guy arrives and after a brief inspection, he sees where the problem lies.
He opens up the tin and says to the Barman "You might want to try lighting the bleeding candle!!!"

[Moscow Mule]

I was going to donate to the Japan appeal, but then I saw how rich they are already - some of them have got two boats in their garden.

[EternalOptimist]

I was going to donate to the Japan appeal, but then I saw how rich they are already - some of them have got two boats in their garden.

[NotAllThere]

Accordng to Freud, what lies between fear and sex?















fünf.

The only victim there is possibly the German or English language.

(For those who aren't cunning linguists, the German for 4 sounds like "fear" and for 6 sounds like "sex". Fünf is German for 5. ).

[KentPhilip]

Ooh, and I remembered this one:


I went to the zoo the other day.

All they had was one, small dog.

It was a tulip zoo.

My mate got a new dog today, it was a cross between a japanese schitzu, and a pitbull terrier.
It was a "bullsh1tter"

btw how do you get the sh i t word through without it being tuliped?

[gingerjedi]

My mate got a new dog today, it was a cross between a japanese schitzu, and a pitbull terrier.
It was a "bullsh1tter"

btw how do you get the sh i t word through without it being tuliped?

Give one of the letters a colour or size.