CUK members lonely hearts ads

[sasguru]

AtW

Hallo I am Russian man living in Brum. I have own bedsit (actually rented) with real portable colour telly on wall.
I like squirrels (in nice wholesome way you understand, I not molest them), computers and pot noodles. One day I will finish writing new and brilliant search engine.
Looking for nice lady (must not have 2 heads please) to cook for me and help me finish pot noodles.
Thanking you.

[MaryPoppins]

I await the responses to this thread with glee.

[Pondlife]

Troll

British and EU ladies only. Some 'imported guptas' considered but unlikely. Indians and Nigerians need not apply.

[sasguru]

DimPrawn

Hey there! I'm a cool Swindonite with my own 3.5 litre BMW (well only 56 more payments to go) and own house (well its ex-council but its well tasty inside).
The boom box in my boot costs more than the house, so we can use it as down-payment for another Swindon pad, innit.
Anyway I'm looking for a nice bird who appreciates a flash, cool, bald, slightly chubby bloke who sports a Rado watch and 5 gold chains and who believes size doesn't matter.
I look like a celebrity - Stavros Flatley since you ask - and you must look like Katie Price or its no deal.
Ta.

[sasguru]

Troll

British and EU ladies only. Some 'imported guptas' considered but unlikely. Indians and Nigerians need not apply. No irish and dogs

FTFY

[kandr]

Gricerboy

My only restriction is that you are not allergic to rohypnol. I got away with it the last time but worried that another death will look suspicious.

[Paddy]

shaunbhoy

Looking for local Devonshire girl, not immediate if possible. prefer, cousins, in-laws, aunts etc but may consider sisters if away from home. Must be alive for long term relationship or at least still warm for one nighters.

[d000hg]

I await the responses to this thread with glee.

It would be polite of Sas to wait for someone to 'do' him. However, I want to see what someone comes up with for Wilmslow.

[sasguru]

Wilmslow

Virtual sockpuppet loser chappie seeks a woman.
Must be called MaryPoppins and post on CUK.

[MarillionFan]

Sasguru

Seeks married lady and her five beautiful daughters for some extra marital fun. Must bring own lube.