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Bernard Matthews dies

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    #11
    Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
    He's been dead awhile I'm sure. Is he the one who had the dog, Schnorbitz, the dog who had the rectal prolapse during a perfomance in a school? I'm giggling as I'm typing this, because I seriously doubt Bernard Manning did a performance in a school.
    Bernard Cribbins?

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      #12
      Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
      He's been dead awhile I'm sure. Is he the one who had the dog, Schnorbitz, the dog who had the rectal prolapse during a perfomance in a school? I'm giggling as I'm typing this, because I seriously doubt Bernard Manning did a performance in a school.
      Bernie Winters. Ha! Poor old Schnorbitz died of a rectal prolapse on stage - what a way to go. I'm sure I read something in FHM years ago about it happening at a school, and the kids being sprayed with fecal matter and dogs innards. Not sure that's true, but it still makes me laugh today.
      Practically perfect in every way....there's a time and (more importantly) a place for malarkey.
      +5 Xeno Cool Points

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        #13
        Originally posted by jmo21 View Post
        Bernard Cribbins?
        Bernie Winters - Cribbins was diggin a hole and the wombles
        Rule Number 1 - Assuming that you have a valid contract in place always try to get your poo onto your timesheet, provided that the timesheet is valid for your current contract and covers the period of time that you are billing for.

        I preferred version 1!

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          #14
          Originally posted by TonyEnglish View Post
          Bernie Winters - Cribbins was diggin a hole and the wombles
          And Jackanory, he was pretty damn good at that too.

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            #15
            Originally posted by TonyEnglish View Post
            I make it

            Turkeys 1 Matthews Millions
            Just in time for Christmas.
            Behold the warranty -- the bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away.

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              #16
              I believe his Funeral will come with all the trimmings!

              “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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                #17
                Originally posted by shaunbhoy View Post
                I believe his Funeral will come with all the trimmings!

                If you think my attitude stinks, you should smell my fingers.

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                  #18
                  I took a job at the turkey farm many years ago.

                  The farmer says "I need you wank the male turkeys to extract semen for breeding, wear these bright green gloves".

                  reluctantly I said I'd give it a go.

                  So off I went, nervously opened the shed door and.


                  Gobble gobble gobble they all cried.



                  There are limits!

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                    #19
                    This news is Christmas come early for turkeys.

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