Bernard Matthews dies - Contractor UK Bulletin Board

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TimberWolf replied

26 November 2010, 16:00
This news is Christmas come early for turkeys.
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DimPrawn replied

26 November 2010, 15:53
I took a job at the turkey farm many years ago.

The farmer says "I need you wank the male turkeys to extract semen for breeding, wear these bright green gloves".

reluctantly I said I'd give it a go.

So off I went, nervously opened the shed door and.

Gobble gobble gobble they all cried.

There are limits!
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hyperD replied

26 November 2010, 13:52
Originally posted by shaunbhoy View Post

I believe his Funeral will come with all the trimmings!
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shaunbhoy replied

26 November 2010, 13:37
I believe his Funeral will come with all the trimmings!
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Sysman replied

26 November 2010, 13:12
Originally posted by TonyEnglish View Post

I make it

Turkeys 1 Matthews Millions

Just in time for Christmas.
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TykeMerc replied

26 November 2010, 12:23
Originally posted by TonyEnglish View Post

Bernie Winters - Cribbins was diggin a hole and the wombles

And Jackanory, he was pretty damn good at that too.
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BoredBloke replied

26 November 2010, 12:10
Originally posted by jmo21 View Post

Bernard Cribbins?

Bernie Winters - Cribbins was diggin a hole and the wombles
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MaryPoppins replied

26 November 2010, 12:09
Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post

He's been dead awhile I'm sure. Is he the one who had the dog, Schnorbitz, the dog who had the rectal prolapse during a perfomance in a school? I'm giggling as I'm typing this, because I seriously doubt Bernard Manning did a performance in a school.

Bernie Winters. Ha! Poor old Schnorbitz died of a rectal prolapse on stage - what a way to go. I'm sure I read something in FHM years ago about it happening at a school, and the kids being sprayed with fecal matter and dogs innards. Not sure that's true, but it still makes me laugh today.
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jmo21 replied

26 November 2010, 12:09
Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post

He's been dead awhile I'm sure. Is he the one who had the dog, Schnorbitz, the dog who had the rectal prolapse during a perfomance in a school? I'm giggling as I'm typing this, because I seriously doubt Bernard Manning did a performance in a school.

Bernard Cribbins?
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BoredBloke replied

26 November 2010, 12:09
I make it

Turkeys 1 Matthews Millions
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Freamon replied

26 November 2010, 12:07
And on thanksgiving too! <sniff>
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MaryPoppins replied

26 November 2010, 12:02
Originally posted by d000hg View Post

I was confusing him with Bernard Manning.

He's been dead awhile I'm sure. Is he the one who had the dog, Schnorbitz, the dog who had the rectal prolapse during a perfomance in a school? I'm giggling as I'm typing this, because I seriously doubt Bernard Manning did a performance in a school.
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jmo21 replied

26 November 2010, 12:00
Originally posted by kandr View Post

Police suspect fowl play
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kandr replied

26 November 2010, 11:57
Police suspect fowl play
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d000hg replied

26 November 2010, 11:56
I was confusing him with Bernard Manning.
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