Tesco Rant Parts 1 and 2

[NotAllThere]

It's a win-win then isn't it?

Have you seen the decayed albatross body pictures? Killed from the inside by plastic they didn't have the sense to spit out?

Think of it as evolution in action. Those that have the sense to spit out plastic get to breed.

They refuse to serve me ever since I frightened the room service maid when I was lying naked on the bed.

Richard Feynman tells of the time in Japan, when the maid came in with the breakfast tray while he was getting dressed. She said "good morning" to him. At that moment Feynman's friend, Pais, enters the room, dripping wet, and nude having just got out of the bath. She turned to him and said "good morning", and put the breakfast tray down for them, and left the room.

Pais looked at Feynman and said "God, are we uncivilized". In the West, the maid would have screamed and there would have been a big fuss.

[doodab]

I've always been of the opinion that if a woman enters my hotel room without knocking it's because she's hoping to catch a glimpse.

[chef]

Have you seen the decayed albatross body pictures? Killed from the inside by plastic they didn't have the sense to spit out?

Yes here

[Moscow Mule]

Yes here

Horrible, isn't it?

[DiscoStu]

PPPPPP.

Pick up a Penguin?

[minestrone]

Tescos are not really intersted in helping reduce the amount of bags you use, how else are they going to get the average shopper who cannot be bothered to recycle bags to buy 20 items while on foot.

[Tarquin Farquhar]

Richard Feynman tells of the time in Japan, when the maid came in with the breakfast tray while he was getting dressed. She said "good morning" to him. At that moment Feynman's friend, Pais, enters the room, dripping wet, and nude having just got out of the bath. She turned to him and said "good morning", and put the breakfast tray down for them, and left the room.

Pais looked at Feynman and said "God, are we uncivilized".

The maid probably thought exactly the same.

[Tarquin Farquhar]

Is this foreign tesco?

The ones in the UK are more than willing to sell you a bag for life - or give you crappy thin ones if you prefer. They also have a big basket where you can recycle old plastic bags.

The Intermarché round the corner from my office sells plastic bags a little larger than Tesco's and a lot stronger, for 3 cents each. Tesco's pedal bin liners in a roll of 30 actually cost more than that each bin liner.

[wobbegong]

Don't get mad, get even . . .

Good old Safeway used to supply paper bags. Paper bag production is good because it encourages the growing of trees for paper. Young trees also produce far more oxygen than old trees

An oldie but a goldie.

Have fun in the supermarket.

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts
when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the feminine hygiene aisle.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares..... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling knives in the kitchen department, ask the clerk if
he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission
Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say
"PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the
fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And last but not least!)

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and,
then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

HTH

[doodab]

That reminds me of the time two stoned girls chased me and a mate around the local sainsbury with a bog brush. The next day I went to look at a flatshare and guess who answered the door.....