Tesco Rant Parts 1 and 2

[chef]

guess who answered the door.....

me?

[chef]

guess who answered the door.....

A guy called Derek?

[Andy2]

That reminds me of the time two stoned girls chased me and a mate around the local sainsbury with a bog brush. The next day I went to look at a flatshare and guess who answered the door.....

sasguru and atw ?

[chef]

an axe muderer? santa?

ooo the possibilities are endless

[doodab]

This could go on for days.

[Clippy]

Will Tesco Rant 3 be in 3D?

[Scary]

Will Tesco Rant 3 be in 3D?

And it'll be a remake of Pocahontas set in a retail environment.

[stingman123]

If your Tesco rants can be in only 2 parts, you are doing well....another happy customer!

[Paddy]

An oldie but a goldie.

Have fun in the supermarket.

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts
when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the feminine hygiene aisle.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares..... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling knives in the kitchen department, ask the clerk if
he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission
Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say
"PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the
fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And last but not least!)

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and,
then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

HTH

Some stores have trolleys that lock wheels when going over a red-line. (One wheel works a dynamo charging LED sensor and solenoid)

Red chalk on the supermarket floor works just as well in stopping the trolly.

[AtW]

Tesco is tulip - not cheap either, apart from booze, but it is a tacky store, how on Earth it can be Britain's success story?