Man's penis removed from pipe

[Diver]

• The doctor said to him "Did you come by tube?"
  
  
• He was arrested shortly afterwards, for riding the tube without a ticket.
  
  
• Headlines read "Man shot entering tube"

Just thought I'd get the more obvious ones out of the way

[cojak]

There was neither a horse nor a pony in the vicinity.

Nor Range Rover...

[Board Game Geek]

Using lateral thinking, could he not have blown in to the other end, thus expurgating the erroneous member ?

[oracleslave]

Using lateral thinking, could he not have blown in to the other end, thus expurgating the erroneous member ?

Blowing on a stiff rod in this weather could have created a daisy chain hard to extricate himself from.

expurgating - great word!

[Paddy]

• The doctor said to him "Did you come by tube?"
  
  
• He was arrested shortly afterwards, for riding the tube without a ticket.
  
  
• Headlines read "Man shot entering tube"

Just thought I'd get the more obvious ones out of the way

[EternalOptimist]

How long before somebody starts a "Man's pipe removed from penis" thread, with accompanying references to Magritte?

I was thinking along the lines of 'Cigar removed from woman - ex president held'
but it was a bit too contrived

[Platypus]

I immediately thought of a smoking pipe, and thought 'WTF'

EDIT

his penis was left bruised and swollen

Result for him!

[Board Game Geek]

• The doctor said to him "Did you come by tube?"

The man replied, "I didn't manage to get that far".

[wobbegong]

Medics at Southampton General Hospital could not get the man's penis out of the stainless steel pipe because the restricted blood flow had caused it to become aroused.

Just show him a piccy of Hazel Blears. Job done.

[AtW]

• The doctor said to him "Did you come by tube?"
  
  
• He was arrested shortly afterwards, for riding the tube without a ticket.
  
  
• Headlines read "Man shot entering tube"

Just thought I'd get the more obvious ones out of the way