1. Contracting
    1. General
      1. Brexit
    2. Business / Contracts
      1. Coronavirus Assistance
    3. Accounting / Legal
      1. Umbrella Companies
      2. HMRC Scheme Enquiries
      3. The Future of Contracting
      4. IR35 Reform
    4. Technical
    5. Welcome / FAQs
  2. Social
    1. Light Relief
    2. Social / Events
  • Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Office Bullsh...

Collapse
X
1 to 10 of 45 Previous 1 2 3 4 5 template Next
Collapse
Reply to Thread
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
1 to 10 of 45 Previous 1 2 3 4 5 template Next
    #1

    Office Bullsh...

    I am already sick of hearing the men around me talk utter bobbins.

    Loser #1: "I was caught doing 90 in a 40 once."

    Refreshingly Normal Bloke: "Wow. That was stupid. How did you get around being banned? Did you have to go to court?"

    Loser #1: "I was racing an umarked police car too!"

    Refreshingly Normal Bloke: "Um. Really."

    Loser #1: "Yup. Gutted when I got pulled mate. Luckily they er (lowers voice here) saw my licence and let me off, cos I've got a doctorate see. Sorted."
    ____________

    Ultra Irritating Geek #2: (moaning because a train was delayed) "...it was all because some silly woman was tapping on the train window as it was pulling away, to say bye to someone – tripped on her high heels and fell between the platform and the train.

    Obviously the gap wasn’t big enough for her to fall straight through, so she was being sort of ground up against the wall. Total mess and held us up for 5 miserable hours, what a joke. It was all her own fault really. It's the price you pay for wearing heels."
    Practically perfect in every way....there's a time and (more importantly) a place for malarkey.
    +5 Xeno Cool Points
    Tags: None
    #2
    Just talk about handbags and shopping and the equilibrium will be restored
    Coffee's for closers

    Comment

      #3
      Originally posted by Spacecadet View Post
      Just talk about handbags and shopping and the equilibrium will be restored
      Don't forget the kittens.
      ‎"See, you think I give a tulip. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of a tulip? That's why I look interested."

      Comment

        #4
        Will try that now.

        Now that you see the level of personality I am dealing with, you will understand my horror at being ordered to attend the programme 'away day' on Monday. The 'fun activity' we are going to have to endure is a 'rope adventure course'.

        WTF?

        Freezing cold, swinging from ropes and wearing a harness?

        Only on the weekends ta.
        Practically perfect in every way....there's a time and (more importantly) a place for malarkey.
        +5 Xeno Cool Points

        Comment

          #5
          True Story

          I was stopped for doing 72 in a 40 and got let off because I gave the officer some VB programming tips. 100% true.
          ...my quagmire of greed....my cesspit of laziness and unfairness....all I am doing is sticking two fingers up at nurses, doctors and other hard working employed professionals...

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
            Will try that now.

            Now that you see the level of personality I am dealing with, you will understand my horror at being ordered to attend the programme 'away day' on Monday. The 'fun activity' we are going to have to endure is a 'rope adventure course'.

            WTF?

            Freezing cold, swinging from ropes and wearing a harness?

            Only on the weekends ta.
            I'm having Lara Croft visions
            ǝןqqıʍ

            Comment

              #7
              Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
              Will try that now.

              Now that you see the level of personality I am dealing with, you will understand my horror at being ordered to attend the programme 'away day' on Monday. The 'fun activity' we are going to have to endure is a 'rope adventure course'.

              WTF?

              Freezing cold, swinging from ropes and wearing a harness?

              Only on the weekends ta.
              Are you a contractor? Tell them you have insurance issues with it and so can't attend.
              Coffee's for closers

              Comment

                #8
                Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
                Will try that now.

                Now that you see the level of personality I am dealing with, you will understand my horror at being ordered to attend the programme 'away day' on Monday. The 'fun activity' we are going to have to endure is a 'rope adventure course'.

                WTF?

                Freezing cold, swinging from ropes and wearing a harness?

                Only on the weekends ta.
                This might come in handy; how to make a noose.
                And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

                Comment

                  #9
                  I did one of those once when I worked for CSC and knew no better!
                  hated every minute of it, I'm a nail varnish wearing, mini bar loving kind of a women who really does not suffer fools gladly...

                  Yeah - good point - what the heck AM I doing on here
                  I'm sorry, but I'll make no apologies for this

                  Pogle is awarded +5 Xeno Geek Points.
                  CUK University Challenge Champions 2010
                  CUK University Challenge Champions 2012

                  Comment

                    #10
                    I got stopped doing 67.23 in a 30 zone once. I got let off because I am a chettah
                    Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death.

                    Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.

                    Comment

                    Reply to Thread
                    1 to 10 of 45 Previous 1 2 3 4 5 template Next

                    Advertisers

                    1. Contracting
                      1. General
                        1. Brexit
                      2. Business / Contracts
                        1. Coronavirus Assistance
                      3. Accounting / Legal
                        1. Umbrella Companies
                        2. HMRC Scheme Enquiries
                        3. The Future of Contracting
                        4. IR35 Reform
                      4. Technical
                      5. Welcome / FAQs
                    2. Social
                      1. Light Relief
                      2. Social / Events
                    Working...
                    X